The Ka-Ching kinda lurve...

That was the topic Pietro and Serena C discussed this morning. Me and hubby talked about it on the way to work and we concurred.

Indeed, money can buy you love..just a different kind of love, we both agreed. The kind that is not deep, the kind that may be fleeting, the kind that does not stay in sickness and in health, certainly not for richer or for poorer.

Money can buy you happiness though, to an extent. In fact, perhaps it can buy you love to a large extent. Who wouldn’t want to be pampered with nice clothes, facials, jewelry and handbags and shoes that matches what the Marcos lady once had..And who wouldn’t want the other perks, like being able to go almost anywhere without worrying you’re stretching the budget..any needs of the kids can be taken care of, any ailment can be treated at any private hospitals, any financial emergencies can be handled.

But is all that going to be enough in the long run..? Maybe..maybe not. I would like to think I am a romantic who believes in a happy ending, no matter the bank account. But then again, money does help. People have been known to leave their partners when another comes along offering what appears to be “financial stability”..and will they be happy..? I don’t know..they can learn to be happy I guess.

Personally, a beautiful big home, with shiny luxury cars and all the handbags and shoes money can buy will never come close to having a loving and honest husband, a doting dad to the kids, the laughter and private jokes that a couple shares, even the simple movie and popcorn nite at home.

Truth is, I had the luxury of having a nice bank account once..so was I happier then..? On the face of it, maybe. I would never forget the holidays abroad, the spa treatments, the “not having to think too much while shopping” thing, you know what I mean…?

But in all honesty, when you lose that nice back account..you bounce back. You learn to live again, within your means this time and you learn that quality time takes on a whole new dimension. I found a new definition of happiness. My little precious may not have had the Disney holidays or numeorus others his brothers enjoyed but I will be the first to vouch that he gets sooo much more from us than any of his brothers ever did. It’s just that what he gets can never be quantified.

So, back to the question of the day – can money buy you love..sure it can. Just the ka-ching kind of lurve…

Being Maid-less

It has been nearly 3 weeks since my maid upped and left. And how have I been you ask..? Just fine…thank you.

Let me give you a brief once over. I have been doing laundry at least once a day. I have learnt to prepare pre-cooked meals, I began to get to know the ironing board once again, I get the boys to help fold the clothes.

I plan my days now. And I plan them as well as I possibly can. I go to the extent of laying the breakfast bowl, cereal box and vitamin bottles on the table before I go to bed, I lay Haqim’s school shoes and bag by the front door. I have everyone’s clothes laid out the night before too and prepare Haqim’s lunch box and Arief’s meal for the next day.

But if there is one thing I miss, it’s cooking. I enjoy cooking as a form of de-stressing myself. To me baking and trying out new recipes is extremely therapeutic. But I cooked, she cleaned. So now, with VERY limited time on my hands, I can’t seem to manage anything fancier than nasi goreng. I miss making all kinds of meals and snacks. And I miss my own carrot cake. Hubby brushes it off, saying it’s not important…hmmph…what does he know.

Basically, I still cook, though not as much as I would like, I clean, though I have cheats there (mom’s or mil’s maid comes in at least once a week..hey, I have to be smart about it ok), I make sure my 13yo does his share of the chores, hubby washes the car and takes out the trash and life has never been this bliss at home..!

Am I superwoman..? Most certainly not..! Am I tired..? Oh yes I am..But the house is clean and my days are no longer punctuated with “Aaniii….kamu ni…”

But come Ramadhan…hmmm….this year my precious is already in Tahun 1 which means we leave the house early and he has began to fast since last year. So for the moment, I am rather uncertain how I will manage my days; in between all the regular activities - the berbuka, the tarawikh, the sahur.

Hmmm…a daunting thought but hey, the tough should just get going huh…yea rite…

The Runaway Maid

Wow…it’s been soo long since I last came in here..and so much to write about. But the sensational piece has got to be the story about the maid who upped and left last week. Of course to make the runaway story more dramatic, she left my precious 7yo all alone at home.

We’ve been having trouble with her for several months now and my many issues with her culminated with the discovery of a handphone amongst her things and a bag all packed and ready to go last Sunday. When confronted she denied her intention to run away but because she could not make the handphone go poof! she admitted to owning it, but not before creating some story involving the maid 2 doors from us. “Kawan Ani tuuk, dia pinjam uwang Ani, terus bila dia tak boleh bayar dia beri aja handphone sama Ani. Dia punya banyak handphone”

So after the handphone and packed bag on Sunday, silly me was supposed to take her passport to keep at the office..I checked that it was still where it should be but I forgot to put it away. The next few days she was rather bold and that fueled my anger further. I made no bones about my discontent. She was clearly displaying her attitude bordering on being rude to me and I tolerated none of it.

Then came Thursday. I spoke to her over the phone mid morning and once again she was rather curt which made me quite mad. Around 2 in the afternoon, hubby dropped by the house to pick something up, she was ‘alive and well” and came to the front gate to hand it to him. Then just before 3.30 Haqim called, absolutely frantic and sobbing “Mom, I can’t find kakak..mom, I can’t find kakak..I’m all alone Mom…and the front gate is not closed” I don’t think I can forget the fear I heard in his voice..Needless to say, Mom was literally shaking..and boiling mad..

Later that day I realized she had left us a note on the fridge..apologizing profusely. For running away and for stealing her passport. The next day I had help in cleaning the house, the dry area at the back was particularly filthy and yes, I found her passport along with other documents she had taken from the file stashed in a plastic bag near the washing machine…..aaah…the sigh of satisfaction never felt so good.

Yea, yea, it could have been worse. Those who run away with their employer’s kids, or stealing money and others, mine left the house intact. She even did all the dishes.

So our life without a maid has begun. And in all honesty, it is quite bearable. The boys chip in and have their own chores. Haqim insisted he doesn’t want to be “just a helper, I want a job Mom, I’m part of this family too”. Arief has been the true Arief with that entrepreneurial spirit, “so that 5 ringgit for washing Haqim’s school shoes, is that for sebelah or what ma..?”

For the moment I am enjoying the stress free life without that constant headache only a maid can give you. For how long, don’t ask. My bones are tired but the house is still standing, the kids are still alive and kicking and I must tell you..during part of the weekends – the idea of having the whole house to yourself, I mean just me and hubby…hmm....hahaha…

And so, despite the runaway maid, there is still hope and life after all…

So What....?

I will turn a year older this Sunday. And how does that make me feel? Not wonderful is putting it mildly. And between you and me, (yes, you, the one or two creatures on earth who actually read my entries…) I have been kinda edgy at the mere thought of it Honestly, it’s been bugging me quite a fair bit, and for some reason I have been feeling rather insecure, about so many things in my life. My finances, my parenting skills, my looks, my hair, my weight of course.. And then on Sunday, I had a fall. Not a nasty one but enough to leave me limping for several days. Noo, I did not sprain an ankle, just pulled a muscle but hey, it hurt ok, and it was not cool to come to work in slippers..so I have not exactly been feeling on top of the world..(and that twit of a colleague who when seeing me limp into the office on Monday morning chirpily said, ayooo lily, you’re not young anymore you know..must be careful ooo…) And just like that my wonderful week began.

Yes, me, who tells that one should count one’s blessings in life..I really should take a HUGE spoonful of my own medicine huh..

I don’t know, perhaps it’s all because I thought I would have achieved a certain number of things in my life by now. Ah, my husband points out, therein lies the crux of my problem, life is about a lot more than ‘things’..he stresses. I have my health, a stable job, a place to stay, my family which includes a husband and kids whom I love very much, and hopefully love me right back. I have a set of beautiful people I call my closest best friends whom I’ve known for close to 30 years and many other girl friends and sisters all of whom are in very special places in my heart.

With my husband of almost 20 years I have a wonderful relationship. Naturally there are days when life as a couple is less than perfect but I would like to think that despite it all, things are still good between us and married life is still sweet.

Then there are my kids…my pride and joy. My raison d’etre in this world. Ironically, issues with one was what triggered my emotions this morning. I ask you, when you’ve been a parent for close to 15 years as I have, you would think that you’re at least a decent enough parent, right? Think again…

“You’re too hard on yourself..” my husband tells me. I can’t help it. I have this voice that tells me even I have not achieved much in almost 40 years of my life (there, I’ve said it…!!what a HUGE number…oh GOD..!), I should at least have sufficient parenting skills to handle any given situation right..as I said, think again. Yes, it’s really not that big a deal, more of the usual discipline issues, but hey, they irk me. And with all that emotion running high lately with the aging thing, well, the timing sucks.

But my better half was sweet enough to be patient and reminded me that I have a lot to be thankful for. That life would not mean a thing even if I have loads of moolah in my bank account but a terrible relationship with my spouse and kids..and nobody else to turn to, for instance. And that kids are to be disciplined with love..yes, yes, when he’s calm he’s a much better parent than I am… Ok, I’m being cynical, I really shouldn’t.

Aaaahhh..ok, that’s me taking a deep breath. He’s right, I’m being too hard on myself. So no more ranting about, no more teeth clenching till I burst. So what if my son sleeps like a log, he’ll just miss football practice. So what if I my hair is thinning, I still have no ubans, so what if I don’t drive a fancy car and can’t afford jewelry, (I can still dream, can’t I..) and so what if I’m not young and slim anymore…(ok, with this one, I am not so convinced yet lah..I think I need to spend some money at a slimming centre lah ….)

Hubby tells me he loves me more than ever before, - God bless the man..despite the thinning hair, the wide hips and all my other imperfections..(eh, do you think he said that to avoid his wife from having a nervous breakdown maybe..??)

I turn a year older...I think I need to get a pick-me-upper and face this head on. In the meantime, errr, do you know of a good hair product, that won’t cost me an arm and a leg, and then some..?