It’s 12th of February today, 2 days away from Valentine’s day.. I am not a sucker for this so-called lover’s day for I feel the entire idea is tremendously overrated. Of course back when I was a teenager, it was a different story altogether. Cards and flowers were must-haves. As you grow older, and perhaps a tad wiser, you learn that Valentine’s Day is not exactly a celebration a good muslim should get all excited over…so all that youthful delight associated with the day kinda gets subdued over the years.
Yet, I feel a wish of ‘I love you’ to a loved one is not about to make me forget my faith so although I don’t go out for Valentine’s day anymore and have long stopped buying cards for my husband, it is still a day where you feel the mood for love, just a lil bit more somehow. And with that, I cannot help but recall a particular Valentine’s Day evening, in 1986 to be exact, out first Valentine’s day together..and yes, that first (err..brief) kiss..he..he..
It’s been 21 years since that first time our lips met..wow, imagine that. And today, millions of kisses later, we’re still together and I must say a whole lot more in love with one another now. Back then you don’t think, at least I never thought you can ever be more in love than you already were. And for the life of me, I never imagined love could ever be so complicated and demanded so much of you. Who would have thought love could be so sweet and yet painful, passionate but at times devoid of any emotion. And despite whatever heartaches and problems life brings you, at the end of the day, the love and support you get out of a relationship will help you make it through it all…God willing.
I am no expert on love but all I can say is this – falling in love is one thing, staying in love takes a lot of work, and with anything else that is associated with work, it takes effort. To me no marriage is ‘made’ in heaven, other than whomever you end up with is fated. But, the rest is up to you. Oh sure, there are bad days, no relationship would be real if there are no bumpy rides. But our love for one another still grows...now more than ever. And as things stand today I am still amazed at how I can still get goosebumps sometimes, and occasionally my heart still skips a beat when I hear his voice. And even after 2 decades and 3 kids later, (with our oldest turning 14 in a couple of months!), we still exchange cheeky jokes and flirt over the phone...
So, here’s to love..and many more years of hugs and kisses…!!
note - obviously the posting of this entry is a couple days late...
Friday, February 16, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Ipoh Mali
Last week hubby, our precious and me traveled up north to Ipoh. Although the trip initially started on a rather sour note, as it turned out it was a very refreshing outing. A much needed break to life's complexities and issues. Due to some last minute change of plans, we ended up staying at Heritage with my aunt and uncle and that turned out really great! Being used to Syuen for our annual exodus back to Ipoh, Heritage was certainly a very nice change. (Although I was quite hesitant initially because somebody had said one hotel room kat situ berhantu..!)
We were there for some traditional treatment of kidney stones that my uncle had pre-arranged for himself, my dad and hubby. The treatment which were arranged for 3 consecutive days were only done at nights, leaving us with a free and easy itinerary during the day. Thus we began to explore Ipoh, and explore Ipoh we did, in ways we never had before..
You see, each year my family and I dutifully follow my parents back to their respective hometowns since they both still have an elder sibling in Perak. But each time our trips back are confined to the Raya visits and we never really had time to explore the town. Fact is hubby’s dad also came from there and as a young boy hubby himself stayed for 3 years in Ipoh with his aunt. So off we went to check out ACS, his old school, where he lived before and loads of other stuff. And after a short unofficial tour (husband insisted he took us around the building and the swimming pool whilst classes were in session.. only in Ipoh can you get away with something like that!) this lil conversation took place:
Haqim – oh, dad, so you want to show me your history? (I did not teach him the word, he said he learned in school)
Dad – yes.
Mom – So, Haqim, what is your history?
Haqim – My history is now (leaving mom feeling …duh..)
Then he continued, “and my old history is in the heavens, with Allah”
Phew..imagine that…my 5 yo talking.
Anyway, the rest of the trip was equally refreshing. We had good food and good company. It was nice bonding with my fav aunt and unc again. And since it was Thaipusam, it was also the closest we ever got to the annual affair, (yea, we would never dream of going anywhere remotely close to Batu Caves at that time now would we..). We were right smack in the middle of things since the worshippers had taken to the streets during rhe night, and the lighted chariots and kavadi carrying folks were all along the street, chanting, and dancing away. And there we were, all wide-eyed in Atok's van, moving very slowly because of the crowd. Haqim was certainly amazed at the sight and I can't say we weren't as well.
Frankly, I did not realize Ipoh has much to offer. Now - how many of you knew of this part of town called Buntong, where one can go buy all the kacang and muruku to last a lifetime?! No, seriously, we literally went nuts ourselves with the selection – bags and bags of nuts and muruku !! What do you fancy ? Kacang dhal, kacang parang, kacang hijau, kacang botak or the original kacang putih? You name it, they’ve got it !
And who knows a little eating place that not only serves delicious food ( yummy masak lemak cili padi ok..) but also sells pineapple tarts that are simply lovely!! Now I know where Mom gets her Raya supplies each year..! We finished half a jar overnight! We also checked out this hotel apartment which was to be our accomodation. It was certainly more than ok, so maybe some other time lah. And Rin, if you are reading, we can use the pool lah..!
All in all, Ipoh was really a pleasant surprise. Even our visits to the kind ole man who was treating the men were interesting each time. He had lots of stories to share, some more eerie than others so it was really fun listening to him.
The moral of the story is – never under estimate the reasons why everything happens and what He puts in front of you. Tu lah, Ustaz selalu kata Dia bagi kita apa yang kita perlu, not apa yang kita nak. What I had planned definitely did not materialize, but the turn of events was nothing less than memorable.
Which brings me back to Sr Enda's board along the Assunta corridor - her Food for Thought that changes each week, the one that said, - Man disposes, God disposes.
We're going again in 3 months by the way...so, muruku anyone..?
We were there for some traditional treatment of kidney stones that my uncle had pre-arranged for himself, my dad and hubby. The treatment which were arranged for 3 consecutive days were only done at nights, leaving us with a free and easy itinerary during the day. Thus we began to explore Ipoh, and explore Ipoh we did, in ways we never had before..
You see, each year my family and I dutifully follow my parents back to their respective hometowns since they both still have an elder sibling in Perak. But each time our trips back are confined to the Raya visits and we never really had time to explore the town. Fact is hubby’s dad also came from there and as a young boy hubby himself stayed for 3 years in Ipoh with his aunt. So off we went to check out ACS, his old school, where he lived before and loads of other stuff. And after a short unofficial tour (husband insisted he took us around the building and the swimming pool whilst classes were in session.. only in Ipoh can you get away with something like that!) this lil conversation took place:
Haqim – oh, dad, so you want to show me your history? (I did not teach him the word, he said he learned in school)
Dad – yes.
Mom – So, Haqim, what is your history?
Haqim – My history is now (leaving mom feeling …duh..)
Then he continued, “and my old history is in the heavens, with Allah”
Phew..imagine that…my 5 yo talking.
Anyway, the rest of the trip was equally refreshing. We had good food and good company. It was nice bonding with my fav aunt and unc again. And since it was Thaipusam, it was also the closest we ever got to the annual affair, (yea, we would never dream of going anywhere remotely close to Batu Caves at that time now would we..). We were right smack in the middle of things since the worshippers had taken to the streets during rhe night, and the lighted chariots and kavadi carrying folks were all along the street, chanting, and dancing away. And there we were, all wide-eyed in Atok's van, moving very slowly because of the crowd. Haqim was certainly amazed at the sight and I can't say we weren't as well.
Frankly, I did not realize Ipoh has much to offer. Now - how many of you knew of this part of town called Buntong, where one can go buy all the kacang and muruku to last a lifetime?! No, seriously, we literally went nuts ourselves with the selection – bags and bags of nuts and muruku !! What do you fancy ? Kacang dhal, kacang parang, kacang hijau, kacang botak or the original kacang putih? You name it, they’ve got it !
And who knows a little eating place that not only serves delicious food ( yummy masak lemak cili padi ok..) but also sells pineapple tarts that are simply lovely!! Now I know where Mom gets her Raya supplies each year..! We finished half a jar overnight! We also checked out this hotel apartment which was to be our accomodation. It was certainly more than ok, so maybe some other time lah. And Rin, if you are reading, we can use the pool lah..!
All in all, Ipoh was really a pleasant surprise. Even our visits to the kind ole man who was treating the men were interesting each time. He had lots of stories to share, some more eerie than others so it was really fun listening to him.
The moral of the story is – never under estimate the reasons why everything happens and what He puts in front of you. Tu lah, Ustaz selalu kata Dia bagi kita apa yang kita perlu, not apa yang kita nak. What I had planned definitely did not materialize, but the turn of events was nothing less than memorable.
Which brings me back to Sr Enda's board along the Assunta corridor - her Food for Thought that changes each week, the one that said, - Man disposes, God disposes.
We're going again in 3 months by the way...so, muruku anyone..?
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
An Apology
Am not too certain how I should begin this entry. Suffice to say I am feeling pretty rotten and all choked up with emotion. You know the feeling when you are sorry for how certain things were said but simply could not help feeling what you feel.. I feel sorry, and angry but most of all I feel sad. Sad when it hits you how things are not what you perceived, or as deep as you had thought. Sad that I am seen as one who can incite so much negativity. Just sad that I did not handle things better.
Fact is, sugar coating my words have never been my style – certainly not one of my forte. So does that mean I must be a terrible person? Isn’t what’s inside more important? Not how nice you appear to others but how sincere your heart is? I don't mince my words, I don't know how to...and that appears to be my greatest fault. Sure, I am far from perfection, I am not without shortfalls and weaknesses - I have never indicated I am. I try to always remember that I am but a mere speck in the bigger scheme of things but deep in me, I am not malicious.
Yes, I can be loud, and when I have no closure my actions may be all too telling..my words may be peppered with anger. I try, you know. More often than note, believe it or otherwise, there are plenty of occassions where I try to smile and not say too much. But I guess SI is right, sometimes things are better left unsaid. My mistake- some things just don’t come easy, not to me at least. He also says I should learn to just accept things and people as they are..and that I should bite my tongue more. Ok, I hear you.
To the one I hurt, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. Granted, sorry doesn’t make things right, but sorry is all I’ve got for now. I was out of line, and had made a bad judgment call and what it came down to was a response that was quite uncalled for. Quite honestly, my bark is usually worse than my bite which would mean I am not as unpleasant as I seem. But then again, each to his or her own..maybe that's an attempt on my part to justify. Truth is I am who I am- not neccesarily always proud of that but surely I am not the sole creature on earth who finds it hard to 'just smile'...and let things rest.
Everything happens for a reason…
And yes, I have to learn to bite my tongue a lot more.
Fact is, sugar coating my words have never been my style – certainly not one of my forte. So does that mean I must be a terrible person? Isn’t what’s inside more important? Not how nice you appear to others but how sincere your heart is? I don't mince my words, I don't know how to...and that appears to be my greatest fault. Sure, I am far from perfection, I am not without shortfalls and weaknesses - I have never indicated I am. I try to always remember that I am but a mere speck in the bigger scheme of things but deep in me, I am not malicious.
Yes, I can be loud, and when I have no closure my actions may be all too telling..my words may be peppered with anger. I try, you know. More often than note, believe it or otherwise, there are plenty of occassions where I try to smile and not say too much. But I guess SI is right, sometimes things are better left unsaid. My mistake- some things just don’t come easy, not to me at least. He also says I should learn to just accept things and people as they are..and that I should bite my tongue more. Ok, I hear you.
To the one I hurt, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. Granted, sorry doesn’t make things right, but sorry is all I’ve got for now. I was out of line, and had made a bad judgment call and what it came down to was a response that was quite uncalled for. Quite honestly, my bark is usually worse than my bite which would mean I am not as unpleasant as I seem. But then again, each to his or her own..maybe that's an attempt on my part to justify. Truth is I am who I am- not neccesarily always proud of that but surely I am not the sole creature on earth who finds it hard to 'just smile'...and let things rest.
Everything happens for a reason…
And yes, I have to learn to bite my tongue a lot more.
Friday, January 19, 2007
of language, stuck door and super heroes
I won’t say I am proud of this but Haqim speaks very little Malay. But he just rang me up and attempted a full conversation in Malay. It went something like this; (but remember to read with a slight God-knows-what twang.).
Haqim: “ Mom, roti emm, tinggal emm, du-wa keping”.
Me: “ oh really?” – not realizing he was determined to pursue that in malay asked further, “you and adam ate the bread?”
Haqim, “ ermm , no, saya saje”
Me: “why are you speaking in Malay?”
Haqim “nak practice saje. Aunty Nadia (his teacher) kata”
Me: ‘ ooo’
Haqim : then gushed out excitedly, “oh mom, did you hear about the stuck door today??”
And there goes the Bahasa conversation.
Actually, he had already told me about the stuck door earlier in the day. In English. Apparently, the classroom door got stuck today and he and his friends, Aunty Nadia included, were all “trapped” inside. This was how he related the incident to me.
“ Mom, today our classroom door got stuck and we were all trapped inside Mom..!”
“ Oh dear, so what happened?”
“Auntie Nadia had to shout from under the door mom. She tried to use a card but the door wouldn’t open"
“Were you scared?”
“Nooo, but one of the boys was.”
“He cried?”
“No, he whined”.
“So then how did you get out? “
“Auntie Marisa. She rescued us Mom. With a screw driver. She’s a super hero..!”
“Oh wow..”
“Yeaaa…I think I;m going to call Opah and tell her that Auntie Marisa is also a super hero.”
“What do you mean?”
“Opah went to the flood and helped the people there. She’s a super hero..! “
“Oh wow….” (totally impressed and by then beginning to imagine if Opah will look better in the Catwoman or Wonder Woman suit….)
Kah kah…So there. My son is attempting to speak in Bahasa, which is great. And of course I am proud of Opah too, for being part of the adopting a vilage program in Johor. Just that super hero bit from my son gives it a different angle lah, that's all.
Meanwhile, me and hubby, known as Mama and Abah to my nieces and nephews, one day asked Ed, Haqim’s best bud –
"Adam, are your classmates mostly Malay, Chinese or Indian?"
"Only Malay and English."
"English??? That can’t be.."
"Yeesss lah mama...."
"And you are..? "
"Tsk - English-laa"
aaah...I should have known..his cousin Airis Sophia - she's English too..!
Haqim: “ Mom, roti emm, tinggal emm, du-wa keping”.
Me: “ oh really?” – not realizing he was determined to pursue that in malay asked further, “you and adam ate the bread?”
Haqim, “ ermm , no, saya saje”
Me: “why are you speaking in Malay?”
Haqim “nak practice saje. Aunty Nadia (his teacher) kata”
Me: ‘ ooo’
Haqim : then gushed out excitedly, “oh mom, did you hear about the stuck door today??”
And there goes the Bahasa conversation.
Actually, he had already told me about the stuck door earlier in the day. In English. Apparently, the classroom door got stuck today and he and his friends, Aunty Nadia included, were all “trapped” inside. This was how he related the incident to me.
“ Mom, today our classroom door got stuck and we were all trapped inside Mom..!”
“ Oh dear, so what happened?”
“Auntie Nadia had to shout from under the door mom. She tried to use a card but the door wouldn’t open"
“Were you scared?”
“Nooo, but one of the boys was.”
“He cried?”
“No, he whined”.
“So then how did you get out? “
“Auntie Marisa. She rescued us Mom. With a screw driver. She’s a super hero..!”
“Oh wow..”
“Yeaaa…I think I;m going to call Opah and tell her that Auntie Marisa is also a super hero.”
“What do you mean?”
“Opah went to the flood and helped the people there. She’s a super hero..! “
“Oh wow….” (totally impressed and by then beginning to imagine if Opah will look better in the Catwoman or Wonder Woman suit….)
Kah kah…So there. My son is attempting to speak in Bahasa, which is great. And of course I am proud of Opah too, for being part of the adopting a vilage program in Johor. Just that super hero bit from my son gives it a different angle lah, that's all.
Meanwhile, me and hubby, known as Mama and Abah to my nieces and nephews, one day asked Ed, Haqim’s best bud –
"Adam, are your classmates mostly Malay, Chinese or Indian?"
"Only Malay and English."
"English??? That can’t be.."
"Yeesss lah mama...."
"And you are..? "
"Tsk - English-laa"
aaah...I should have known..his cousin Airis Sophia - she's English too..!
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