Wah, at a glance my topic for this entry sounds so research-like huh..?
Anyway, here's the thing - my precious 5yo – Haqim, has sleepover issues. In his almost 6 years, he has probably had maybe 5,6 sleepovers, tops. No really, he does not do sleepovers, even at the gramps. I donno, it is our fault that Haqim has separation anxiety? Truth is, he does not really suffer from separation anxiety, just at nightfall. Things begin to take on a totally different perspective for Haqim once he is supposed to close his eyes and go to bed.
I suppose it all began when I chose to breastfeed my precious beyond 2 years old. It wasn’t something I had planned consciously. I knew I wanted to nurse him for awhile but I never made any specific effort to stop by a certain point. It was just convenient, he was happy, I was happy, so there was simply no reason to stop. Beyond around 2 and a half years or so it was still not such a big deal because Haqim would by then just nurse mostly at bedtime. So I went with the flow – literally..! People around me started to give me that look but it wasn’t like I had to lift up my top and feed him anywhere, anyplace..! And no, although they have teeth by that age, they do not bite. By then Haqim was doing fine during the day and would only cuddle up to mummy at bedtime.
So due to these nighttime nursing, he was constantly with me, and sleepovers became a problem for him. There were several occasions where he did follow his brothers to my parents or once to my sister’s but those were not without some crying in the middle of the night.
Which is why last weekend was an achievement for Haqim! He had spent the day with his best bud, Adam, and went with his Nana (what he calls my sis) and co to their new abode downtown. And…he called me to announce that he was sleeping over. Although we went to say hello briefly sometime that night, he was fine and did not ask to come home with us. Next morning, my sis tells me Haqim did wake up and asked for mummy but Nana assured him that the sun would be up in awhile and they can all go swimming. That said, Haqim went back to sleep.
Back home the next day, as I was winding down that evening, after his bedtime story, Haqim looking quite forlorn I might add, asked me “Mom, why do I have trouble sleeping with someone else?” I assured him that it is completely ok and there was nothing wrong with that. Haqim persisted, “but why is it so easy for some people?” I merely sighed and kissed my son and said, “sweetie, there are a lot of things that can be hard for you but easy for somebody else, but there are also things that are hard for others but very simple for you…like you talk so well and can always tell me how you feel, some people don’t know how”. And since he’s soo into drawing since he began art class, I added, “like how you drew that horse and mummy doesn’t know how to draw a horse!” He seemed satisfied with my response, at least for the time being.
Haqim had always been totally adorable, by virtue of being the baby of the family, and being our child after an 8 year gap between him and Arief, he has always been the apple of my eye, and daddy’s manja. Although he is our precious, he is not timid, only soft-hearted. He is not shy, but also not overly boisterous. Haqim has a mind of his own and usually knows what he wants but he takes instructions well. So maybe he is overly anxious when it comes to sleepovers but during bright daylight he has no issues of separation anxiety whatsoever. Take him anywhere and he’ll be more than happy.
The past few days though he’s been saying he’s gonna be sleeping at Nana’s pad again this weekend. So he says – lah. Let’s wait and see what happens.
In the meantime, do I have any regrets about my decision to breastfeed that long? Not a chance..!! Those were some of my best moments of motherhood..!
No comments:
Post a Comment