Let it roll....

I have been told I can be rather emotional. Okay maybe sometimes overly emotional. Well, maybe I am…a little. Or maybe sometimes a little more than a little.

The point here is, when something do not go as I had planned - I need to gather my nerves and learn to keep my emotions in check.  Not an easy thing to do, particularly considering I turn another year older in a few days, on to a number that is rather daunting if you ask me.

I’m a mother to three boys you see, so between them and their father, I am the only creature in the family who tends to have her emotions running helter skelter at the slightest disruption of stability. That is perhaps my problem, by nature I am not one who loves adventure and spontaneity - I prefer stability. I don’t deal with abrupt changes very well. So the drill when something goes out of whack is, I usually I get a little upset, feel a little out of control, yak a lot while my sons and husband, bless them, just laugh (or get annoyed) and tell me - there she goes again. I do regain control of the situation and soon enough will have my brain in overdrive, salvaging plans or making new ones. But first I need to just let it out of my system.

It’s how I tick, period. Yea, so maybe it’s not exactly the smartest way to deal with a sudden change of plans. I do handle it – just after I let my emotions roll.

Like today. We are scheduled to leave for a weekend break in a couple days, a much anticpated one at that, due to several reasons. But, as it now turns out, there is a possibility it may not happen. Ok, so if it’s not in the cards, then it’s not in the cards. We will have another go at family time, God willing. But for that short span of time when it first hits that a plan carefully laid out is thrown askew, I breathe heavy and start yapping...persistently. Once I am in control again, I can see the bigger picture with much clarity. Heck, I can even get my all righteous self kick in and remind me - Man proposes, God disposes. See, I sound so calm and level headed like that.

Hmm, but first, I let it roll.

I miss you

I've missed you. Really, I have.

While laying around doing absolutely nothing, my dearest significant other said, "sayang, you should start a blog." Helloo...I do have one, I just don't remember my password!

So today, after much effort of tinkering about, I finally broke the code! And I'm back in here, writing a post. So who cares if I'm the only one who reads what I write. This is, after all, my cathartic avenue. The realm in which I rant and vent. Although I have every intention of forcing it down the throat of my dearest bffs -  to come in here and read my nonsensical writings. *evil laughter....*

Life has not changed much since I last wrote in here. Well, it has but at the same time it hasn't. Do I make sense? I am still happily married to my soul mate, still a contented mother of 3 and am just as grateful to Him for all the blessings in my life. Not just the ups, the downs as well. The downs have a way of lifting you up somehow you know..

This year God willing, my dearest and I will celebrate our 25th year of being married. Our eldest will turn 21 right about the same time. Our no 2 is growing into a confident and talented young man and our precious littlest who is not so little anymore will turn into a teenager. Oh God, that was unnecessary...makes me feel old.

Indeed, life is good. Tough as it may be some days. But good. For everyday that I am still able to breathe the air around me, and see the colors around me, the love and laughter, the tears and sorrow, life is still good. For that I thank you dear Allah...and I make a silent prayer inside, that I may be granted good health, the strength and will to go on, come what may. Becos as recent events have shown, you just never know...

i'm back

feels good. to be back here. and this time I intend to stay around a little longer. so aloha once again...

Cicak in the Box

It was just another it tapau lunch break. I found a new stall yesterday and had a good lunch. Next I planned to enjoy the quiet calmness of the empty office to finish my Picoult book. But before that I remembered I had brought a box of leftover biscuits from home so I began to replenish my biscuit container at the office. So there I was, merrily filling the container, taking out several pieces of the biscuits at a time and topping up my little plastic container.

Then something caught my eye…at first glance it was of the same color, light brown but it wasn’t round in shape as those biscuits were. And it had these little black dots, which looked like eyes?????? Oh Sh**……..it was a cicak!! This cicak must have made the biscuit box its home for the last few days – yea yea, I didn’t use one of those plastic ikea clippers on the foil – and it must have “traveled” with me from home to the office.

Eeeuuuuuuwwww…..

I ran and screamed my head off, but then I realized I was alone in the entire office. Dang, where is everyone?? Frantic I called my son, hubby out of town you see, no sense bothering the man when he was probably at a meeting so next default in line was my first born. My hands shaking I dialed his number, “Shafique…….i almost died of a heart attackkkkkkk. Whatt??? Ma, what’s wrong, is it abah? Nooooo, it’s meeeee….i saw a cicak, it was in the biscuit box I brought from home…At that point I could tell he thought his mother had gone quite mad, but hey I was not kidding – I was petrified…geli to the max okayyyyyyy..

Later, I finally got somebody to ensure me it was gone. She crawled under my desk, flashed her mobile phone light but the cicak was on the loose. Great…now what, I had a long skirt on yesterday. I made the poor girl who helped me locate the damn lizard look again, and again – Takde kak, dah takde daaaahhhh…

Oh man, I then gingerly stepped back to my seat, Picoult session entah ke mana. I spent the rest of my day looking at my feet, behind me, at my desk, basically I was quite paranoid. I hate them, I could scream if I see one in the toilet ceiling. And here we’re talking about one that landed on my desk, just inches away from my face….!!!!! Inches, can you even imagine how terrifying that was??

I prayed hard that I did not dream of cicak last nite. Thankfully, I didn’t. But now I can’t get the image of that cicak that got out of the box…I feel squeamish, and the episode still gives me goosebumps. And I will probably stay away from those biscuits for awhile. Mannn….i love those biscuits…damn you cicak..