Love is...

Try asking a few people what love means and you are likely to get various takes on the word and what it means to each individual. This would be the umpteenth time I am celebrating Valentines with the love of my life..let me see…just over 2 decades to be exact..Long time huh…? Sure we had a brief ‘hiatus” – but it was like 22 years ago when we first spent Valentine’s Day together..I can even go into details, but I’d rather not lah…no la, nothing too xx pun…just no need to share lah..

So, what is love.? To me, it is about being able to see past your partner’s shortfalls and the mutual respect and affection which you feel towards each other. Real love goes beyond valentine’s day wishes and romantic dinners. It means being able to count on one another in times of need, be it a bad day at work, problems with the family or regular issues with the kids, home and finances.

I should stress that the notion of being wined and dined is not completely unnecessary..! I love flowers but they are not essential (and these days they cost a bomb during Valentine week so forget it..!) so a nice card and quiet alone time will do. As I grew older, Valentine’s Day has lost some of its spark and for me and hubby a few other days are more meaningful to be celebrated. Nonetheless, it is still a nice day to wish one another and use it as an excuse to make the effort to spend time as a couple. With everything that goes on in our lives it can be quite a challenge to find the time to go out alone, without the kids. A weekend away is almost out of the question. Yea, yea..couples should not let kids get in the way..maybe later laa..don’t most couples say that?

As we go about doing whatever it is that we do today my thoughts are with several people around me who happen to be facing some relationship issues. Problems that revolve around anything from finances, to children, to bedroom issues. And I must say some of those issues are really not alien to me in our marriage but alhamdulillah we somehow made it through the rain. And although there can still be stormy weather on some days, I suppose that is just part of the whole deal lah. You pick your battles, you accept that neither you nor your partner will ever be perfect and you laugh with each other - a lot.

At the end of the day, there is no denying that marriage is a lot of work; relationships are never easy and as someone close to me said, love must always, always be nurtured, lest you may just find yourselves drifting away in no time. And chances are there will be occasions where your love and marriage will be tested and my oh my, how emotionally exhausting that can be..

But with each Valentine’s Day I am reminded that love means more than flowers and romantic dinners. It is a time to reflect how one has matured in a relationship, it celebrates the struggles of bad patches along the way and it is a day to treasure the love you still feel and the bond that has grown over the years.

So what will I be doing tomorrow? Hmm…I hope I will be enjoying a nice dinner at a cosy table at a quite but not necessarily fancy restaurant…followed by a feel good movie at home perhaps.. and who knows what else…And yes, it will be tomorrow because going out on a week night is just not so appealing you know..Besides since tomorrow is Friday, the kids can be packed off to mom’s house..hehe…

On that note..happy valentine’s day..!