As we were settling down at bedtime, he suddenly said, “I need to tell you something..” . Sure, I said.
He continued, “I don’t want to die” and although stunned I replied, everything and everyone dies, sweetie, but it’s ok.
Then he asked, “mom, what happens after we die?”
Phew, a tough one so I gave dad a slight nudge to signal “help me out here dear”.
Well, if we’ve been good and have done what Allah tells us to do then we get to see Allah and go to paradise, dad responded.
“What’s paradise?”, he asked. It’s a really cool place, his dad replied, where you can do whatever you want and ask for anything. What would you like to ask for? I asked
“Can I go on train rides?” Of course I said. You can even watch Playhouse Disney Channel all day long if you want. It’s a real magical place, we say.
“But mom”, he said, and with tears rolling down his cheeks, “will we see each other and be together again??”..Oh baby, I said and squeezed him real tight, of course we will…insyallah..
Next morning, he asks, “In paradise, can I be my own boss?” Sure, said daddy. “oh wow, then I can’t wait to get to paradise..!” (you see, sometimes he laments that we boss him around)
So there, the quizzical scenarios we get into with our son who turns 6 tomorrow.
How would you have handled that one, I ask you…?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Happily Ever After
Three days ago, hubby and I celebrated 18 years of marital bliss – sometimes not-so-bliss. It’s been a long and interesting journey, certainly not always smooth, especially in the early years. At this point however, life is sweet and I feel truly blessed.
This afternoon I spent a long time talking to one of my best girlfriends. We’ve known each other since we were kids in primary school and when times are bad we try to be there for one another.
It’s been tough for her, feeling the strain and missing that love. Nope, no third party or anything of the sort, just some rough times. And boy, I know that feeling all too well, that disappointment, the resentment and just plain “I don’t feel like I wanna be nice to you although I still love you” kinda feeling.
It’s tough and the irony is although you desperately want it to work, you also just don’t feel like working at it because of so much anger inside of you. In the end, you need to somehow learn to forgive, accept your partner "seadanya" and then find that inner calm. Only then can you begin to re-nurture that relationship and start rekindling whatever that’s missing.
It’s never easy to get rid of all that anger because first you have to get rid of all expectations. I guess we need to appreciate that time changes a person and we have probably changed as well. It’s just always easier to see our partner as the one who has changed. And when these men in our lives do not live up to our expectations and we the do not end up having that castle we once dreamed of, then marriage kills the romance that was once a part of the courtship in the early years.
Yes, I had dreams dashed too, I expected more and the feeling of “how come I got the losing end of this deal and you got the better bargain out of this relationship” can sometimes cause you more heartache and inevitably shatters those expectations again and again. Maybe some of us od’d on romance novels - we all thought we were going to meet a guy, fall madly in love, be swept off our feet and live happily ever after. Aaah, that is soo not real, now we know better huh?. Hey, I thought I was going to be the wife of a rich successful doctor..look how that turned out. Would I have been happier? I don’t know - maybe I would in some ways. I would probably be able to afford a nice house, drive a cool car and get to spend his money – ha ha…! But then again, those are really material wealth aren't they..
Everyone tells you marriage is not about keeping score, but rather about doing little things that make the other’s lives happier and easier but at times when your love tank is running low, it’s not easy to remember things like these. I suppose some of us just have to rough it out and accept that even in the bleakest of times, there are lessons to be learned and love can prevail if we try to forgive and accept that happily ever after is truly over rated.
But am I happy now? Oh, you bet I am…
This afternoon I spent a long time talking to one of my best girlfriends. We’ve known each other since we were kids in primary school and when times are bad we try to be there for one another.
It’s been tough for her, feeling the strain and missing that love. Nope, no third party or anything of the sort, just some rough times. And boy, I know that feeling all too well, that disappointment, the resentment and just plain “I don’t feel like I wanna be nice to you although I still love you” kinda feeling.
It’s tough and the irony is although you desperately want it to work, you also just don’t feel like working at it because of so much anger inside of you. In the end, you need to somehow learn to forgive, accept your partner "seadanya" and then find that inner calm. Only then can you begin to re-nurture that relationship and start rekindling whatever that’s missing.
It’s never easy to get rid of all that anger because first you have to get rid of all expectations. I guess we need to appreciate that time changes a person and we have probably changed as well. It’s just always easier to see our partner as the one who has changed. And when these men in our lives do not live up to our expectations and we the do not end up having that castle we once dreamed of, then marriage kills the romance that was once a part of the courtship in the early years.
Yes, I had dreams dashed too, I expected more and the feeling of “how come I got the losing end of this deal and you got the better bargain out of this relationship” can sometimes cause you more heartache and inevitably shatters those expectations again and again. Maybe some of us od’d on romance novels - we all thought we were going to meet a guy, fall madly in love, be swept off our feet and live happily ever after. Aaah, that is soo not real, now we know better huh?. Hey, I thought I was going to be the wife of a rich successful doctor..look how that turned out. Would I have been happier? I don’t know - maybe I would in some ways. I would probably be able to afford a nice house, drive a cool car and get to spend his money – ha ha…! But then again, those are really material wealth aren't they..
Everyone tells you marriage is not about keeping score, but rather about doing little things that make the other’s lives happier and easier but at times when your love tank is running low, it’s not easy to remember things like these. I suppose some of us just have to rough it out and accept that even in the bleakest of times, there are lessons to be learned and love can prevail if we try to forgive and accept that happily ever after is truly over rated.
But am I happy now? Oh, you bet I am…
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
The king and his drawbridge
The king’s installation was last week. (I wrote this earlier, remember...) This is not an event I would normally get fascinated with and never actually bothered to watch on tv but this time I decided to check it out. Nope, I am not from Trengganu although I love the Majesty’s home state but I had other reasons. His younger brother is a good friend so there is this distant sense of “connection” laa.
Hubby and I knew the brother when we were students in the States and we have remained friends up to this day. The day we found out who he is, then a son of a sultan, is still fresh in my memory. A common friend who knew his background made me ask him what his father does and so I did, and he answered, “ he’s in business”. Yea, right..
He was, and still is, completely un-assuming and very down to earth. Not at all pretentious. Most times he is totally oblivious about his regal background. The older brother, now Your Majesty, appears to be similar. The write ups about him coming in to work at 9 at the Istana, wanting to do away with late nights so people can go back to their families, still eager to be a “regular guy” and participate in his favourite sports, are all traits of his siblings. Similar to that friend of ours, the few of his siblings that I had the pleasure of meeting all appear to share those qualities, very simple and never intimidating.
Actually, from what I hear from my bil who because of his line of work had to take care of the Brunei loyalty whilst they were in town for the installation, the Malaysian who planted herself in the midst of all that Bruneian pageantry appears to be waited on hand and foot and comes across as larger than life, unlike our new King and Queen who seem regal and stately without being ostentatious.
Anyhow, given that scenario, we decided to follow the installation this time around. The next day, with all the buntings along the roads, my precious asked me, “Mom, where does the King live?” In a palace, I said. “Oh boy, does the palace have a drawbridge??” Nope sweetie, there is no drawbridge. “How bout knights mom?” Nope, no knights either. “Dragons?” No, no dragons..
Hah, such is the imagination of my child..that a king lives in this palatial mansion, secured by knights and dragons and surrounded by a body of water with a moat in place..! Too much tv huh…?
In any case, it’s good to know that the King is not all about pomp and protocol. And oh my...I must say we have got one pretty Queen up on the throne yea?
Hubby and I knew the brother when we were students in the States and we have remained friends up to this day. The day we found out who he is, then a son of a sultan, is still fresh in my memory. A common friend who knew his background made me ask him what his father does and so I did, and he answered, “ he’s in business”. Yea, right..
He was, and still is, completely un-assuming and very down to earth. Not at all pretentious. Most times he is totally oblivious about his regal background. The older brother, now Your Majesty, appears to be similar. The write ups about him coming in to work at 9 at the Istana, wanting to do away with late nights so people can go back to their families, still eager to be a “regular guy” and participate in his favourite sports, are all traits of his siblings. Similar to that friend of ours, the few of his siblings that I had the pleasure of meeting all appear to share those qualities, very simple and never intimidating.
Actually, from what I hear from my bil who because of his line of work had to take care of the Brunei loyalty whilst they were in town for the installation, the Malaysian who planted herself in the midst of all that Bruneian pageantry appears to be waited on hand and foot and comes across as larger than life, unlike our new King and Queen who seem regal and stately without being ostentatious.
Anyhow, given that scenario, we decided to follow the installation this time around. The next day, with all the buntings along the roads, my precious asked me, “Mom, where does the King live?” In a palace, I said. “Oh boy, does the palace have a drawbridge??” Nope sweetie, there is no drawbridge. “How bout knights mom?” Nope, no knights either. “Dragons?” No, no dragons..
Hah, such is the imagination of my child..that a king lives in this palatial mansion, secured by knights and dragons and surrounded by a body of water with a moat in place..! Too much tv huh…?
In any case, it’s good to know that the King is not all about pomp and protocol. And oh my...I must say we have got one pretty Queen up on the throne yea?
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
I'm addicted
Ok it's confirmed..I am addicted to blogging...! I somehow "lost" my blog due to whatever technical reasons this past week..no, more loike since the Labor Day break..and I have been rendered restless since!!
I had so much to write and share but becos I cud't access my blog, I had to just put all that writing as drafts somewhere. I missed the fact that I cud not post my entries - soo much..
And now i've run out of time because I've just spent the last hour trying to retrieve my blog so looks like I can only write again another day..
But now I know for sure I'm addicted to this..without a doubt!
I had so much to write and share but becos I cud't access my blog, I had to just put all that writing as drafts somewhere. I missed the fact that I cud not post my entries - soo much..
And now i've run out of time because I've just spent the last hour trying to retrieve my blog so looks like I can only write again another day..
But now I know for sure I'm addicted to this..without a doubt!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)