I saw this movie a few days ago – Diary of a Mad Black Woman..and boy was it good.. The gist of it, a woman who left – literally – her family when she married this hotshot attorney, suddenly finds herself thrown out of her home after 18 years of marriage. That classic storyline of “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is basically the premise of the entire movie. It had a dark humor to it, with a maniac grandma (and a chainsaw to boot). Helen, the main character was the loving and faithful wife who stood by her man over the years only to be told straight to her face that he was leaving her for a younger woman. Oh and he has 2 kids with this mistress of his by the way. She had everything money could possibly buy but had to virtually crawl back to her family and learn to pick up the pieces after being dumped by her husband. Hello, she came home to see a U-Haul truck carting all her stuff away..!
As with any good movie, tragedy befalls the husband and his new syt (sweet young thing) took the off with the kids..! And who should return to take care of the man..yea, the wife – but of course. By then she had already moved on with her life, had gotten over the bitterness and had found a new love..who was eager to marry her. The woman obviously had issues. She left Orlando, who is her new found love interest and disappeared to go nurse her wheelchair bound ex. But as you can expect, she gave him hell…oh yes she did..! The thing is, she seemed very the religious kind, but then again she was, after all, MAD at him so she took every opportunity to make the man pay for what he did to her. It’s all about closure and she gave him good. Revenge sure is sweet….ha ha…!
I shamefully admit I watched this while cruising along the East Coast highway but hey, I kept my eyes on the road..no worries. It was so good, to see her get back at the husband, there I was cheering her on, (yea, yea, hands on the wheels, honest) much to the amusement of my 13 year old seated next to me. Where was hubby? Oh, he was peacefully asleep at the back seat, cuddling the precious angel. He had already seen it and was the one who suggested it to me.
Moral of the story – if a woman is faced with a brutal, heartless husband who has no sense of appreciation whatsoever, NEVER let the man get off so easy and if opportunity knocks, it can't hurt to hit him below the belt..well, am sure it'll hurt him-lah, but at that point who really cares right.. Jokes aside, seriously though, one should always find closure, in every crisis. And whatever else that come in between, always take ‘em with a pinch of salt. The woman in the movie had been married 18 years, imagine that, while the now famous Datuk K was together with his ex for 2 decades..so what does that tell you? Always know what your relationship needs..and try as much as you can to work out an amicable solution to every problem..lest your discontentment will slowly eat you up inside. And that would be the beginning of the end.
Ok, I am far from being Ms know-it-all and my years and years of married life certainly doesn’t automatically qualify me as a marriage counselor but I know enough to say always try to accept your partner – seadanya. And whatever imperfections there are, handle them with care and much love..Meanwhile, silly secret jokes, funny shared lingo that only the two of you understand and flirty sms’s are among the more “trivial” but crucial elements to help inject some spice and maintain a happy marriage. I am no Dr Ruth but hey, what goes on between the sheets, (or on top of it or wherever you may fancy lah I guess..) are important too..yes, yes, even after ber-belas tahun – of course !
Now, just a short question for SI, who’s going to the airport?
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Pieces of Wisdom
I know I sometimes grumble but I also know for a fact that life is sweet..Somebody very special sent me some pieces of wisdom, and together with a few of my own thoughts, I came up with this.
renung-renung kan lah..
1. Jangan mengharap, especially from people closest to us because when we expect something in return, we will be easily frustrated when nothing comes our way.
2. Always try to avoid situations that can bring about anger towards the people closest to us because that anger will create a wall that will inevitably block our true feelings of love that exists deep within. ..menjadi pendinding kepada perasaan kasih sayang yang sememangnya ada.
3. Never make a habit of sweeping things under the carpet. When the “work” of addressing issues or carrying out tasks need to be done, try not let it be a burden because when it becomes burdensome it crease displeasure and stress. The thing to remember is when it starts feeling like a burden, stop before the negativity transmits over.
4. A dear ole friend used to say that between a husband and wife, likewise amongst family members, it is never appropriate to practice the concept of ‘give and take’. That should solely be reserved for business deals. With loved ones, whatever we get in return is a bonus when we do not start out expecting.
5. If our loved ones, kids included, do not listen, continue reminding as gently as we possibly can, mengikut kemampuan kita masing-masing. Let them fail, if they need to. But we must learn not to get overly upset if they do. And be there to help them pick up the pieces.
6. With our children, more often than not, we “let go” maybe because we feel we are the parents, we know more, etc etc. Kids are regular human beings with feelings too. People say we have to be careful with our maids because we don’t want them running away - with our children. Well, more so with our own kids, surely we must always exercise care and sensitivity when addressing our own brood.
7. There was once a boy who due to lack of love and attention rebelled and turned to drugs and became suicidal. Many years later this boy lived, and told of how his grandmother’s tough love saved his life. No matter how bad he got, the grandmother never once gave up on him. Somebody termed things like this as ‘management with the heart’.
8. If we are always angry, those vibes will rub off the people around us. Even if there is love, it will be clouded by that constant anger. Instead, if there is always love and affection, and grouses are not blown out of proportion, whenever there are instances of anger, those vibes will not rub off as hard.
9. Children are essentially a "work in progress". They are still learning the act of self control. In some cases, kids somehow inherit less of the positive virtues from parents but tend to pick up the not so good qualities instead. They are young and need to know how to manage their own feelings and sometimes turmoil within them. It isn’t exactly their fault that they got into all that "spilt gravy on rice" issues. They did not decide the gene pool they came from.
10. At the end of the day, when we view things as difficult, they will always be difficult. So always be prepared that occasionally yes, things will not be easy. That way it’s easier to deal with disappointments and we do not get disillusioned. Because finally, there is that certainty, - life has it’s tough moments.
Finally, I have this to say..and you know it's meant for you..
sesungguhnya....
..kasih sayang itu cukup manis bila ia datang tanpa diduga
..perasaan cinta itu terlalu indah bila ia menyapa tanpa bicara...
renung-renung kan lah..
1. Jangan mengharap, especially from people closest to us because when we expect something in return, we will be easily frustrated when nothing comes our way.
2. Always try to avoid situations that can bring about anger towards the people closest to us because that anger will create a wall that will inevitably block our true feelings of love that exists deep within. ..menjadi pendinding kepada perasaan kasih sayang yang sememangnya ada.
3. Never make a habit of sweeping things under the carpet. When the “work” of addressing issues or carrying out tasks need to be done, try not let it be a burden because when it becomes burdensome it crease displeasure and stress. The thing to remember is when it starts feeling like a burden, stop before the negativity transmits over.
4. A dear ole friend used to say that between a husband and wife, likewise amongst family members, it is never appropriate to practice the concept of ‘give and take’. That should solely be reserved for business deals. With loved ones, whatever we get in return is a bonus when we do not start out expecting.
5. If our loved ones, kids included, do not listen, continue reminding as gently as we possibly can, mengikut kemampuan kita masing-masing. Let them fail, if they need to. But we must learn not to get overly upset if they do. And be there to help them pick up the pieces.
6. With our children, more often than not, we “let go” maybe because we feel we are the parents, we know more, etc etc. Kids are regular human beings with feelings too. People say we have to be careful with our maids because we don’t want them running away - with our children. Well, more so with our own kids, surely we must always exercise care and sensitivity when addressing our own brood.
7. There was once a boy who due to lack of love and attention rebelled and turned to drugs and became suicidal. Many years later this boy lived, and told of how his grandmother’s tough love saved his life. No matter how bad he got, the grandmother never once gave up on him. Somebody termed things like this as ‘management with the heart’.
8. If we are always angry, those vibes will rub off the people around us. Even if there is love, it will be clouded by that constant anger. Instead, if there is always love and affection, and grouses are not blown out of proportion, whenever there are instances of anger, those vibes will not rub off as hard.
9. Children are essentially a "work in progress". They are still learning the act of self control. In some cases, kids somehow inherit less of the positive virtues from parents but tend to pick up the not so good qualities instead. They are young and need to know how to manage their own feelings and sometimes turmoil within them. It isn’t exactly their fault that they got into all that "spilt gravy on rice" issues. They did not decide the gene pool they came from.
10. At the end of the day, when we view things as difficult, they will always be difficult. So always be prepared that occasionally yes, things will not be easy. That way it’s easier to deal with disappointments and we do not get disillusioned. Because finally, there is that certainty, - life has it’s tough moments.
Finally, I have this to say..and you know it's meant for you..
sesungguhnya....
..kasih sayang itu cukup manis bila ia datang tanpa diduga
..perasaan cinta itu terlalu indah bila ia menyapa tanpa bicara...
Crazy Woman
Ok, it’s confirmed, I am not taking home the best parent award this year. Maybe not even next year..shucks…! And how does that make me feel..? I donno, I wasn’t expecting the award anyway but I'm sure it would be nice to be in the running though..
There I go, rambling again.. Ok, here’s the thing, being a parent used to be much easier, much more enjoyable, it was fun and nourished my soul a whole lot. Now the boys are getting bigger and I've been a parent for what a good 13 years plus, it should get easier right..? Wrong, it gets tougher. A lot tougher.
The bigger setback is this - things seem to be getting more and more like a breeze for my other half. Him, of all people…I mean, no offence here SI. I know he is a pretty nice guy yadayadayada, but I never thought he would find this manageable.. Hello… wasn’t it moi who religiously pored over all those parenting books and magazines?! Call me delusional, but I thought I had it all worked out, I thought I was going to be this fantastic parent, who would know how to tackle every parenting issue with ease.. What was I thinking…! This ride is gettin’ a tad bumpy now.. my other limb, he laughs a little when I get edgy.. take it easy dear, he says.. And do I appreciate his kind words? Yea, of course I do but frankly, oh God no…I must remind myself at this juncture that I am writing not in my pink Strawberry Shortcake diary with a lock outside but on this stupid blog – aah, what the heck.. deep down inside I guess I feel a wee bit threatened.. Ok, ok, I admit, I shall shamelessly admit, call me a bad parent, maybe I let my egotistical side get in the way.. Aargh….admitting warts and faults like this is awful, painful and gives you a downright sh***y feeling.
This is obviously a spillover of my previous entry, you know about that 13 yr old brat who lives under the same roof I call home.. Oh, actually, he happens to be my son.. can a mother call her son a brat..? Or will that qualify me as the worst mother in the history of motherhood..? Ok, I will try to be a bit more civil about it, my son, my dearest firstborn, the one I love so very much, he drives me up the wall……and I can’t get through to him. And worse, SI thinks I am not trying hard enough, or I'm not listening and I make life difficult for the boys.. Double aaarghh…..
Ok, I’m going to take a deep breath now…,breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out…..and say bismillah.. aaah, that from my precious lil angel, he always says that, when we are angry we must say bismillah…ok, sweetie, mummy will say bismillah, right now..
Seriously, it’s not like I consciously make a decision to be this terrible mother who enjoys sessions of ranting like a crazy woman, Well, who does right..Sometimes I just talk and talk and then nag a lil maybe..then when I get tired, and all worked up, I get upset and then the crazy woman drops by for a visit…It is not me, I swear, maybe my evil twin..Trust me, I am really nice…and not the least bit crazy. Honest.
Ok la, enough rambling. I accept the facts.
Fact 1 - The kids are growing up and they are developing their own personalities
Fact 2 – I should learn to be their friends and not breathe fire each time they get on my nerves. Fact 3 – It doesn’t hurt to laugh more like them, laughing is good facial exercise.
Fact 4 – I am not taking home the best parent award for the next couple of years…
btw….does anyone know how I can get rid of this crazy woman…I think I see her peeping thru that door…
There I go, rambling again.. Ok, here’s the thing, being a parent used to be much easier, much more enjoyable, it was fun and nourished my soul a whole lot. Now the boys are getting bigger and I've been a parent for what a good 13 years plus, it should get easier right..? Wrong, it gets tougher. A lot tougher.
The bigger setback is this - things seem to be getting more and more like a breeze for my other half. Him, of all people…I mean, no offence here SI. I know he is a pretty nice guy yadayadayada, but I never thought he would find this manageable.. Hello… wasn’t it moi who religiously pored over all those parenting books and magazines?! Call me delusional, but I thought I had it all worked out, I thought I was going to be this fantastic parent, who would know how to tackle every parenting issue with ease.. What was I thinking…! This ride is gettin’ a tad bumpy now.. my other limb, he laughs a little when I get edgy.. take it easy dear, he says.. And do I appreciate his kind words? Yea, of course I do but frankly, oh God no…I must remind myself at this juncture that I am writing not in my pink Strawberry Shortcake diary with a lock outside but on this stupid blog – aah, what the heck.. deep down inside I guess I feel a wee bit threatened.. Ok, ok, I admit, I shall shamelessly admit, call me a bad parent, maybe I let my egotistical side get in the way.. Aargh….admitting warts and faults like this is awful, painful and gives you a downright sh***y feeling.
This is obviously a spillover of my previous entry, you know about that 13 yr old brat who lives under the same roof I call home.. Oh, actually, he happens to be my son.. can a mother call her son a brat..? Or will that qualify me as the worst mother in the history of motherhood..? Ok, I will try to be a bit more civil about it, my son, my dearest firstborn, the one I love so very much, he drives me up the wall……and I can’t get through to him. And worse, SI thinks I am not trying hard enough, or I'm not listening and I make life difficult for the boys.. Double aaarghh…..
Ok, I’m going to take a deep breath now…,breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out…..and say bismillah.. aaah, that from my precious lil angel, he always says that, when we are angry we must say bismillah…ok, sweetie, mummy will say bismillah, right now..
Seriously, it’s not like I consciously make a decision to be this terrible mother who enjoys sessions of ranting like a crazy woman, Well, who does right..Sometimes I just talk and talk and then nag a lil maybe..then when I get tired, and all worked up, I get upset and then the crazy woman drops by for a visit…It is not me, I swear, maybe my evil twin..Trust me, I am really nice…and not the least bit crazy. Honest.
Ok la, enough rambling. I accept the facts.
Fact 1 - The kids are growing up and they are developing their own personalities
Fact 2 – I should learn to be their friends and not breathe fire each time they get on my nerves. Fact 3 – It doesn’t hurt to laugh more like them, laughing is good facial exercise.
Fact 4 – I am not taking home the best parent award for the next couple of years…
btw….does anyone know how I can get rid of this crazy woman…I think I see her peeping thru that door…
Monday, August 21, 2006
Being 13
ok, I admit, I can't quite remember what it felt like being 13. What I do recall though is that gawky stage where you're neither here nor there. When you're often misunderstood and yet you feel you know what you want. What I do remember is being at an age where I had a good time being in the big girls' school..seeing the bigger girls around me..and learning how to act like a teenage girl, fooling around with my mum's blusher and lipstick..
The thing is, I don't have any girls. I have a son, in fact 3 sons..and my firstborn - he's 13. And boy, am I feeling quite stressed dealing with that..and to think that he's only on the brink of being a teenager! What awaits me..Good Lord...
Anyway, he goes to a residential school which means most days he ain't home. I used to think I could never be apart from him, just the thought of him not staying home with us used to bring tears to my eyes. The day I got to know his UPSR results brought much joy but also anxiety in me because I knew then, he would be leaving home soon, that was what he wanted. When we found out he was accepted into this present school brought about mixed emotions in me. And those first few weeks...aaah, such pain. I missed him, so much and when I came home from work and his boisterous self wasn't there to greet me, it was terrible. And to know how bad things were for him during that adjustment period gave me so much pain.
Now, it's been more than 7 months and this firstborn of mine, has pretty much adjusted to life away from home. He is slowly learning what it means to be independant. But this son of mine - perhaps it has to do with being 13, he stresses me out..simply put.
It's the things he sometimes says, and the way he doesn't listen...he makes me wonder if I am the one who does not know how to reach out. Maybe I don't know what it takes to be a mother of a teenage son. We used to fight a lot before he left but these days he irks me in different ways, I can't quite put my finger on it. The father though, he's amused at how we argue,(men...) and step on each other's toes. But my girlfriends always remind me to be his friend.(geez, I never recalled my mom ever being my friend...)..hmmm, tough - but my guess is that makes for some good advice.
I just wish there's some kind of manual you know (don't we all...sigh), The Idiot's Guide on how to be chummy with your 13 year old son" that I can buy at MPH or something you know..
Well, it is a learning process, every single day. As a mother, my hope is that he grows up to be all that he can be. My deepest wish is that someday he will make me proud, as much as I hope he can be proud of me. Which brings to mind these lyrics that hopefully he can sing to me someday...err, that ain'twishful thinking.., is it...???
you raise me up
so I can stand on mountain
you raise me up
to walk on stormy sea
I am strong
when I am on your shoulders
you raise me up
to more than I can be
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka
It's Merdeka month now. I guess I could use more patriotism in me but I try to get in the mood come every merdeka month. And although there aren't many cars in town with flags perched some place, ours will have one very soon.
You see, I have a 5 year old who is into the National Anthem. Well, since just a week ago lah. Just this week, he learned to sing Negaraku at school and now he sings it with gusto, all memorised. Even as this time of writing, there he is standing straight, singing his heart out..! Now, I shamefully admit, up to this point we never taught him the National Anthem. Like most kids his age he is into anything Playhouse Disney Channel offers, of course some are more his favourites than others. He recites the doa makan very well and gives a decent Al Fatihah but the National Anthem,...well, maybe I failed there. Never thought of instilling national pride in him before. The saving grace though, thanks to his dad's years at MARA, that enthusiasm has rubbed of the kids and so our boys have some sense of nationlism la, not as bad as me.
So last year on the 31st of August, off we went in the wee hours of the morning to Putrajaya, (this is where my dear sister would start to groan..) to watch the National Parade along that Palace of Justice building..( hey, what is the name of that road again?). And lo and behold, it was FUN! We actually had lotsa fun and never before have I sang the National Anthem with as much pride. It was quite unbelievable..! No, really.....!
So back to my 5 year old, he asked us yesterday, "can you get me the Negaraku song from the computer?" So, since his brother is back home for the school holidays and would love an excuse to get into the net and look for songs, we now have the National Anthem blasting from the speakers, complete with orchestra ok...! Cool...!!
Now, how many of you actually taught your kids our National Anthem...come one 'fess up..! See what I mean, so go download it - now...! Meanwhile, I have to get back to my 5 year old.
Son, come on, let's sing, and get daddy here too ok....Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku.....
You see, I have a 5 year old who is into the National Anthem. Well, since just a week ago lah. Just this week, he learned to sing Negaraku at school and now he sings it with gusto, all memorised. Even as this time of writing, there he is standing straight, singing his heart out..! Now, I shamefully admit, up to this point we never taught him the National Anthem. Like most kids his age he is into anything Playhouse Disney Channel offers, of course some are more his favourites than others. He recites the doa makan very well and gives a decent Al Fatihah but the National Anthem,...well, maybe I failed there. Never thought of instilling national pride in him before. The saving grace though, thanks to his dad's years at MARA, that enthusiasm has rubbed of the kids and so our boys have some sense of nationlism la, not as bad as me.
So last year on the 31st of August, off we went in the wee hours of the morning to Putrajaya, (this is where my dear sister would start to groan..) to watch the National Parade along that Palace of Justice building..( hey, what is the name of that road again?). And lo and behold, it was FUN! We actually had lotsa fun and never before have I sang the National Anthem with as much pride. It was quite unbelievable..! No, really.....!
So back to my 5 year old, he asked us yesterday, "can you get me the Negaraku song from the computer?" So, since his brother is back home for the school holidays and would love an excuse to get into the net and look for songs, we now have the National Anthem blasting from the speakers, complete with orchestra ok...! Cool...!!
Now, how many of you actually taught your kids our National Anthem...come one 'fess up..! See what I mean, so go download it - now...! Meanwhile, I have to get back to my 5 year old.
Son, come on, let's sing, and get daddy here too ok....Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku.....
Friday, August 18, 2006
love you, love you not
Today a dear friend rang me up. We had the usual catching up with one another kinda conversation. Later we got to talking about a case of wife abuse. Well, she calls it that, I prefer to use the term "domestic violence".
We were pondering over why some women, despite the obvious torment - mental and emotional, not to mention the physical aspect, choose to stay on. Why don't these women simply walk out, dear F was screaming. Why can't they at least do something about it, apart from crying of course. That dear ole friend of mine, she can be brutal, and vocal, so she lamented, "why can't they just leave, otherwise stop whining". I can see where she's coming from, one can only take so much sad domestic stories, if the person concerned does nothing, pretty soon pity does not come easy anymore.
However, I am not as harsh, at least I would like to think so. I repeatedly maintained maybe it's not as simple as that. Hey, it takes a lot of guts to walk out of a relationship, a marriage, especially when there are kids involved. People stay on due to a variety of reasons ; children, financial stability, family, lots of things.
Who am I to judge why people choose to stay in a troubled relationship. I have been married 17 years and frankly although never a victim of domestic violence ever before, admittedly I have had more than my share of tumultous history. There were times when things were more critical than usual and honestly there were days when I wanted out. In my heart I screamed to leave, to walk away and just nurse the pain. I rebelled that it was all too much, so much more than I had bargained for and I did not deserve any of it. There were days when I told myself, "this is it, I'm walking out of here." Obviously, I didn't. Why? Frankly, because I just did not have the guts, and because I was a young mother with two small children. And I had my pride..
I did not think I could carry on, I doubted my ability to hold myslef together, even if it was for the sake of the children. And so I persevered. And worked at saving what I had and prayed. Hard. Thank God, I made it through. I made it through the rain as B.Manilow sang.. What would have happened if I had indeed walked out? Only God knows. Perhaps if I was a victim of domestic violence I might have run, far far away. Or perhaps I would have stayed. Who knows.
In any case, I now thank God everday for the blessings in my life. Those dark days remain a part of my history that made me and my other limb better individuals in our lives..and in our marriage. As husband and wife we have long uncovered the whys and the whats and now we have moved on. Is staying on always a better option? Maybe not.
However, today I am blessed with a husband who truly loves me, appreciates me and cares for me, always. I have 3 beautiful children who are my angels. Do we still fight? Yes, occasionally, but these days we just argue and things hardly get out of hand and we never go to the danger zone no more. Truly, life has never been better.
Thank God I did not have that courage to pick up and leave.
We were pondering over why some women, despite the obvious torment - mental and emotional, not to mention the physical aspect, choose to stay on. Why don't these women simply walk out, dear F was screaming. Why can't they at least do something about it, apart from crying of course. That dear ole friend of mine, she can be brutal, and vocal, so she lamented, "why can't they just leave, otherwise stop whining". I can see where she's coming from, one can only take so much sad domestic stories, if the person concerned does nothing, pretty soon pity does not come easy anymore.
However, I am not as harsh, at least I would like to think so. I repeatedly maintained maybe it's not as simple as that. Hey, it takes a lot of guts to walk out of a relationship, a marriage, especially when there are kids involved. People stay on due to a variety of reasons ; children, financial stability, family, lots of things.
Who am I to judge why people choose to stay in a troubled relationship. I have been married 17 years and frankly although never a victim of domestic violence ever before, admittedly I have had more than my share of tumultous history. There were times when things were more critical than usual and honestly there were days when I wanted out. In my heart I screamed to leave, to walk away and just nurse the pain. I rebelled that it was all too much, so much more than I had bargained for and I did not deserve any of it. There were days when I told myself, "this is it, I'm walking out of here." Obviously, I didn't. Why? Frankly, because I just did not have the guts, and because I was a young mother with two small children. And I had my pride..
I did not think I could carry on, I doubted my ability to hold myslef together, even if it was for the sake of the children. And so I persevered. And worked at saving what I had and prayed. Hard. Thank God, I made it through. I made it through the rain as B.Manilow sang.. What would have happened if I had indeed walked out? Only God knows. Perhaps if I was a victim of domestic violence I might have run, far far away. Or perhaps I would have stayed. Who knows.
In any case, I now thank God everday for the blessings in my life. Those dark days remain a part of my history that made me and my other limb better individuals in our lives..and in our marriage. As husband and wife we have long uncovered the whys and the whats and now we have moved on. Is staying on always a better option? Maybe not.
However, today I am blessed with a husband who truly loves me, appreciates me and cares for me, always. I have 3 beautiful children who are my angels. Do we still fight? Yes, occasionally, but these days we just argue and things hardly get out of hand and we never go to the danger zone no more. Truly, life has never been better.
Thank God I did not have that courage to pick up and leave.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS
My girlfriends and I go way back. No, make that waaay, waay back. We have seen each other through our worst moments, and been there for each other during every important milestone imaginable. From the time we shared giddy, giggly moments during our younger days and then we shared intimate details of what have you..We have held each other's hands during difficult moments and many a time we have cried with each other for a variety of reasons. We have been together for every relationship, every wedding, every childbirth. Truly the friendship that we have built over the years is precious, a blessing indeed.
And now as we grow older, we seem to be faced with some very different difficult times. Although one of us has been through that pain of losing a parent, the rest of us girls up to this point have not walked down that heart wrenching path. But now we seem to find ourselves with some very testing times of our lives. As one of us faces the sudden illness of a parent, another is handling the situation of a sister who has been ill for awhile. As close as we are to one another, I know nothing can quite ease that pain right now. So, we try to do what we do best..we cheer one another on, through phone calls, e-mails, and we try to meet every so often.
Oh we girls have a blast when we meet..! We would be amongst the first to arrive for the buffet and the last ones there whilst the staffs begin to clear the rest of the tables. Often, a waiter would come up to us to remind us that the buffet's closing, do we need anything else, they ask us..Of no, we reply, we're fine, just fine. And then we continue chatting, and laugh our heads off..! Oh we do that all the time, laugh that is.
Yes, like when we share details of one truly girly affair we did together, well, 2 of us at least..whaddayaknow, we went for our pap smear together..! yes, yes, we went into the OB's clinic together-gether...Hey, nothing to hide mah...of course we respected each other's privacy and were discreet when we had to be, but hey, at 38 it's amazing we still found it amusing to learn how to do MBE ...!! (oh, that wud mean monthly breast exams...he he)
Our last rendezvous though did not make quorum. But the three of us had fun anyway. The usual girl talk, exchanging IL issues, the food..(aaah...lovely, lovely mushrooms...), the shopping, (as exhausting as it was, getting that size 4 for my dear sister was kinda fun wasnt it..) and of course that bit about getting SAB to buy us lipsticks from a Temerloh pharmacy, they were all moments refreshing to the soul.
Girls, my thoughts are with each one of you today. To FSL, hard as it may be, try to be brave girl, and have faith alright. To R, my doa is for KJ to make it through. The banker gal, we missed you and demand that treat next time around. And to you Z, as you face the prospect of being away from L and the kids, always remember that life can be more complicated and a lot bitter so as always we try to count our blessings.
And as always, we pray for one another..
And now as we grow older, we seem to be faced with some very different difficult times. Although one of us has been through that pain of losing a parent, the rest of us girls up to this point have not walked down that heart wrenching path. But now we seem to find ourselves with some very testing times of our lives. As one of us faces the sudden illness of a parent, another is handling the situation of a sister who has been ill for awhile. As close as we are to one another, I know nothing can quite ease that pain right now. So, we try to do what we do best..we cheer one another on, through phone calls, e-mails, and we try to meet every so often.
Oh we girls have a blast when we meet..! We would be amongst the first to arrive for the buffet and the last ones there whilst the staffs begin to clear the rest of the tables. Often, a waiter would come up to us to remind us that the buffet's closing, do we need anything else, they ask us..Of no, we reply, we're fine, just fine. And then we continue chatting, and laugh our heads off..! Oh we do that all the time, laugh that is.
Yes, like when we share details of one truly girly affair we did together, well, 2 of us at least..whaddayaknow, we went for our pap smear together..! yes, yes, we went into the OB's clinic together-gether...Hey, nothing to hide mah...of course we respected each other's privacy and were discreet when we had to be, but hey, at 38 it's amazing we still found it amusing to learn how to do MBE ...!! (oh, that wud mean monthly breast exams...he he)
Our last rendezvous though did not make quorum. But the three of us had fun anyway. The usual girl talk, exchanging IL issues, the food..(aaah...lovely, lovely mushrooms...), the shopping, (as exhausting as it was, getting that size 4 for my dear sister was kinda fun wasnt it..) and of course that bit about getting SAB to buy us lipsticks from a Temerloh pharmacy, they were all moments refreshing to the soul.
Girls, my thoughts are with each one of you today. To FSL, hard as it may be, try to be brave girl, and have faith alright. To R, my doa is for KJ to make it through. The banker gal, we missed you and demand that treat next time around. And to you Z, as you face the prospect of being away from L and the kids, always remember that life can be more complicated and a lot bitter so as always we try to count our blessings.
And as always, we pray for one another..
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Where am I going....
I used to love that song "..do you know where you're going to, do you like the things that life is showing you, where are you going to, do you know.."
Well, you know what, most days, I haven't got a clue! I have no inkling where I am going with this supposedly cathartic exercise. I certainly do not know where this journal is taking me..For the most part, I guess I will just take things a day at a time. Like writing this journal - Now, all these years I have always thought keeping a diary or writing journals was something you do to release your innermost thoughts - to the diary! Not to be "published" and then invite others to read them. I would die if any of my diaries from my teenage years were read by someone else other than me..! I mean, I just don't get it..
The funny thing is after I was done with my first entry yesterday, I "shared" with a couple of people and I have this strange feeling I will be doing the same today! And I still don't get it! Maybe it's all about the journey each of us is taking. After all, as varied as our lives may be, there are always some common elements: love, hope, fears, excitement, anger. And no matter how miserable we sometimes feel,we all know that misery loves company.
Or..is it possible that deep down, we all have a side that yearns for our 5 seconds to fame..?
Well, you know what, most days, I haven't got a clue! I have no inkling where I am going with this supposedly cathartic exercise. I certainly do not know where this journal is taking me..For the most part, I guess I will just take things a day at a time. Like writing this journal - Now, all these years I have always thought keeping a diary or writing journals was something you do to release your innermost thoughts - to the diary! Not to be "published" and then invite others to read them. I would die if any of my diaries from my teenage years were read by someone else other than me..! I mean, I just don't get it..
The funny thing is after I was done with my first entry yesterday, I "shared" with a couple of people and I have this strange feeling I will be doing the same today! And I still don't get it! Maybe it's all about the journey each of us is taking. After all, as varied as our lives may be, there are always some common elements: love, hope, fears, excitement, anger. And no matter how miserable we sometimes feel,we all know that misery loves company.
Or..is it possible that deep down, we all have a side that yearns for our 5 seconds to fame..?
Journal Entry Revisited
So, whaddayaknow...I have officially re-started what was once a daily routine. Journal entry re-visited.. And where do I begin..? God knows..Let's just say making this few lines is enough progress and we shall not be over ambitious shall we...
Funny though, journal entry years ago were lines of words in either a complimentary diary from one of the many corporate companies or at most it would be paragraphs of my teenage emotions written onto pages of thick school notebooks, nicely wrapped in colored paper though, no less..
So, what do I write about now..? Almost 2 decades and 3 kids later, how do I begin this so-called journal, or blogs is that what they call it? Perhaps, for now, I can rest easy knowing that I don't need to feel competitive because my sister-in-law wins hands down in keeping her own bright cheery online journals, and apparently a sister keeps one of her own with stories just as amusing I am sure. I must thank her though, she was persistant in goading to start. "Go ahead sis, I'm sure you have loads to share", she said. A girlfriend pushed further, "you really should, you know, it is soo cathartic and you will feel so good", she kept saying. Honestly, I must say thank you for that push, but what do I do now..? As at this point, I feel content to merely re-vist the idea, re-connect with the concept. Moi feels excited about this journal entry thingy though..Good Lord, it has been what? 20 years almost..??
Aahh..but that's life isn't it, sometimes you go one full circle and get back to where you once were..
Funny though, journal entry years ago were lines of words in either a complimentary diary from one of the many corporate companies or at most it would be paragraphs of my teenage emotions written onto pages of thick school notebooks, nicely wrapped in colored paper though, no less..
So, what do I write about now..? Almost 2 decades and 3 kids later, how do I begin this so-called journal, or blogs is that what they call it? Perhaps, for now, I can rest easy knowing that I don't need to feel competitive because my sister-in-law wins hands down in keeping her own bright cheery online journals, and apparently a sister keeps one of her own with stories just as amusing I am sure. I must thank her though, she was persistant in goading to start. "Go ahead sis, I'm sure you have loads to share", she said. A girlfriend pushed further, "you really should, you know, it is soo cathartic and you will feel so good", she kept saying. Honestly, I must say thank you for that push, but what do I do now..? As at this point, I feel content to merely re-vist the idea, re-connect with the concept. Moi feels excited about this journal entry thingy though..Good Lord, it has been what? 20 years almost..??
Aahh..but that's life isn't it, sometimes you go one full circle and get back to where you once were..
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