Raya Tales - or make that frog tale....

So, we are now on the 7th day of Raya.. happy haloween wishes pulak now in order. All in all, Raya was pretty good. The mood, the company, the food…it was essentially a good one although I missed my dear sister esp during the road trip. Sis, after the 2 boys left back for KL, I really missed them, esp Ed he was always hanging out with us becos of Qim and also becos he would otherwise be laughing almost constantly.

There were of cos a few elements that added to all that Raya drama..the ole man being a tad miffed, (oh, by this time of writing, make that 2 ole men..the second one being more than a tad miffed nampak gayanya) the fact that I finally broke the silence of a family member’s intention and seriousness in “nak bukak cawangan” , my 5 year old’s sharp quips, and of cos my frog tale.

The ole man’s story will have to be shared with my OZ sis, another day sis..ok. My son’s tales almost always has you gaping not quite knowing what to say – He learned the meaning of the word ‘stranger’ and was told by dear Opah, a stranger means someone you don’t know. So at the Raya makan that my father organized for his sedara-mara, my dear son suddenly hands me a duit Raya packet saying “mom, a stranger gave me this”..a stranger of cos being a family member standing right next to me.. ! Yup, I was quite embarrassed!

Meanwhile, the frog tale went like this..we were at my aunt’s at the kampong when I had the urge to go shi shi. I had no idea my hubby had already gone – (that dear man I married dint have the sense to warn me lah of cos..) So off I went to their kitchen area, and was told to just go squat on the bathroom floor…huh..? because the toilet is clogged and cant be used. So ok lah…I went in, unzipped my pants, found a spot, and began to relief myself. When all of a sudden, I noticed this brownish, greenish looking creature right behind the toilet…for a split second I thought it was a frog, but then I quickly dismissed it. No, cannot be..yes, I was at the kampong but a nice looking toilet like that..? But a second look did it, it was indeed a frog…sitting nice and pretty less than 4 feet away from me…..!!!! (nad- you wud have screamed and literally wet your pants…trust me..)

I was horrified – to say the least. What was I to do..nie tgh pissing away ni and although the books tell you Kegel exercise does wonders for your vaginal muscles, that thought just never crossed my mind at the time. Besides, I REALLY needed to go, you know what I mean.. So I closed my eyes – yea right – like out of sight, out of mind..ha ha…, and then when I was done I reached for the gayung / cebok and had to open the tap. Which just HAD to be located like a foot and a half above me lah kan…so I had to tippie toe a little…open the tap, place the cebok right underneath and well, you know lah. But seeing the horrific state I was in and being completely taken over by my fear that little froggie behind there may hop over to say hello any minute then – I actually tried to make the least commotion possible. For some reason, I thought if I did not make any noise, I could fool the frog into thinking nobody’s there…(ok, go ahead, laugh, laugh at my expense…). Hey, the tap water flowing into the cebok I thought would have made quite a bit of noise ok., I just figured..oh, never mind… Anyway, suffice to say, it was one of the fastest toilet break ever for me…I cudnt wait to get outta there so I just pulled my pants and zipped outside.

Din’t tell a soul after I got out but when we were at their dining table enjoying the kuih raya.. then my husband tells us, “eh, you all ada masuk toilet Maklong tak..ada katak..” Thank you lah darling…NOW you tell me…! And of course they all had a good guffaw lah.. me trying to fool the frog….

So, how was your Raya…?

The Ramadhan That Was

Is it a sign of age catching up or does time just zoom by you these days..? It felt like just a few days ago when I wrote about Ramadhan being near and now we’re only hardly a week away from Aidlfitri.

All in all it has been a blessed Ramadhan this year. Way way better than what things were like this time last year.. Then, the entire month of Ramadhan was rather somber and bleak..to say the least. Alhamdulillah, it turned out to be a good Syawal last year and things began to take a turn for the better at that juncture. But that’s a whole other blog entry on a much more personal level – lah..

This past weekend I was not around to buka puasa with my folks on our usual Saturday makan. I made up for it by going for one day earlier that week while the rest of my gang showed up for buka on Friday evening. We could not make buka on Saturday because an uncle of my husband had a kenduri, a buka puasa cum housewarning kenduri of sorts. That night a few things hit me.. my 13 year old son has improved a lot in being muezzin and nearly brought tears to my eyes as he recited the azan. I felt myself swell with pride as he began the call for prayer that night.. Honestly, to hear suara Shaf bergema malam tu was one of those important moments that hit me…thank God we all persevered. Meanwhile, another thing, my fil…well, what can I say..he’s an old man so we can’t tegur him but I wish God would bukak hati dia to see certain things. Enuf said.

On another note, last week, I received some bad news about my girlfriend whose mom was recently diagnosed with cancer. She just started a second round of chemo and now they find out the mother is already at a stage 4. I cried when I got that mail..to put myself in F’s shoes..it has to be tough. She’s only 1 of 2 siblings and the sole child who is residing in the country. My heart goes out to her and I hope she can find the strength she needs to get her through this.

Apart from that, we had a pretty good week. Of course my days are always made more interesting with quips from my 5 year old. Last week was no exception. One day I asked him to accompany me to the Ramadhan bazzar when he was lazing in front of the tv watching (what else) Channel 63. He reluctantly agreed and when in the car, he casually asked me “ Mom, why did you ask me to come with you.?.” Mummy then answered
“ because you’re my precious angel.” And he replied, “ nooo…I think the reel reason is because you’re alone..” Ha ha…cheeky little devil..!

And another day he asked me, “mom, does it hurt when we die..?” He caught me there but after I paused for a second I replied, “not if you’re a good Muslim’ to which he promptly answered. “I’m a good Muslim”. Then I asked, “son, why do you ask that” bracing myself for what his response might be when all he said was a cute “becaaause I’m just a kid mom, I don’t know everything”.. ha ha…!!

Speaking of kids, the younger sister of my sil just gave birth to her 4th child. After 3 boys, she finally gets a lil princess….how wonderful..! Unplanned though it may be, and knowing Lina - she never scans the sex of her babies, it must have been really thrilling no doubt. She told me, maybe this will inspire me..ha, ha, no chance of that happening, eventhough I admit to a slight degree of envy, it ain’t enough to trigger inspiration at this point in time..!

Well, with only barely a week away from Aidlfitri, I have some errands to take care of. Baking cookies, picking up our “baju raya” from the tailor and getting raya packets stuffed with crisp, new notes. I will be missing my dearest sister this year. She is always missed, no matter when I just want to gossip, talk about the kids, share stuff about our folks, or simply when the going gets tough – thank goodness for online conversations..! And of course my dearest sil is always around so that’s a blessing. Incidentally, thanks so much for sharing the cream puff recipe…went a long way in impressing my inlaws..!!

Well, the last few years I always feel a tinge of sadness when Ramadhan leaves..that has to be a sign I am getting older and (hopefully) wiser.

Have a blessed Ailditfri one and all…

…salam kemaafan penuh ikhlas.

Sexy lingerie

Today I read a report in the newspapers that says a Melbourne clothes manufacturer proposed a govt subsidy for sexy lingerie..A what..??? Yup, it says this can help reduce divorce rates, boost birth rates and generally make Aussie a happier nation..! wow, so easy to create a happy nation aah? And here we are, a nation quiblling with everyone from our former you know how, our neighbour down south, and everyone else in between.

Sexy lingerie is expensive the article says..yes, tell me about it, I just found out from a friend of mine, one direct selling co that sells "slimming" lingerie carries a RM700 panty in its line..would you believe it!! When I told this to hubby, he said what so special about the panties, is it see-thru or something?? Hah, men - if see-thru, the men lah pay the 700 bucks...betul tak??! kah kah..

Anyway, it seems in OZ, 40% of marriages end in divorce so they figure cutting the cost of frilly satin will go a long way in making "women feel a lot better which would then mean their hubbies will feel a lot better too" - hmmm..which school of logic did that stem from.

Ok, I admit, I don't own many sexy lingerie. One because I admit lah, not curvy pun...two, hubby insists don't waste money on something that will only stay on for a short while.. ha haa...Besides, I agree, I would much rather spend my money on shoes...!

So, does this mean my marriage is doomed? I am sure it takes a whole lot more than sexy lingerie to keep couples from killing each other anyway. If dah tak serasi tu, no amount of subsidized lingerie is gonna do it lah. Maybe in the heat of the moment you can forget all your troubles but after all is over can you go back to being problem free? Nak cari relationship that is stress free and without issues, I think not easy la. Unconditional love, patience and understanding, a good dose of humor and the occasional flirting with one another will do a lot more good in the long run. After that, you just have to have faith that God knows best and never forget to ask Him for guidance.

So should I go run off to Xixili or Blush now and see what's on offer? naaah...I recall a pretty good romp that din't involve any sexy lingerie pun so no need lah waste my moolah..!

RM700 for a pair of lace panties...? yes, serious, go figure....

Happy Birthday to Opah...

Yesterday the family celebrated Opah’s birthday. Opah to all our kids, mak to the rest of us - her brood and menantus. Her 63rd. It was the usual boisterous affair, surrounded by most of her loved ones. With the exception of my firstborn, who was at school since it’s a weekday, my brother who was still stuck at work (no sis, it was your older bro, the hotshot producer was already home) and of course you - my dearest sister who is away down under, the rest were there to sing and wish her. Sis dearest, you wud be happy to know that little Ben was as cute and active as ever. Each time his dad lighted a candle (on the brownie that you know who baked lah of course, eh btw, she made rilly, rilly delicious cream puffs lah..you MUST get her to make some when you come home for your break), he would happily blow it off, so as you might imagine that process went on for awhile….We have some photos but so as to not heighten your misery, you can just picture the scene in your head lah ok.

Anyway, this year me and hubby and the kids got mak something rather special. It’s a book called “SHE – A tribute to the Women of Malaysia”. Aaah…befitting don’t you think so. Of cos Paksu was a tad annoyed that I beat him to it since he had actually seen the book on the shelves way before I did but due to some miscommunication with mak, he had the impression that she already had a copy. It’s one of those coffee table books, which personally I thought should have been of better quality but doesn’t matter lah. Mak appeared more than once in the book, so that was good enough.

Mak has always been this resilient woman, with incredible strength and determination. She stayed away from abah when she was a young mother with a toddler and an elderly mother to take care of back on home soil. Much later she left and took the four of us to live in the States while she did her sabbatical. Now, my younger sister looks set in following her footsteps. At this rate she may be the one amongst us who will leave a mark in women history of the country..mana tau, jadi first female AG in years to come..? Ok tu sis…I tumpang bangga je..

Anyway, although mak and I do not always agree, she always gets my respect. Of course, she is not without imperfections but those are hard to come by. All in all, she is the one I still turn to, in time of need. Hubby used to joke he can hardly get me to listen to him, cos I will only agree if the things he says come from either my girlfriends, my sister or mak.

Growing up, I guess there were times when I did not live up to her expectations and I sometimes wish things could have been different. But as always, everything happens for a reason. I am now a grown woman and mother of 3 but I still listen to her a lot and many decisions I make I do so taking her views into consideration. Heck, mak even heavily influenced who I ended up marrying. Hubby played his cards well and won her heart before I actually fell for him so by the time I had second thoughts mak kinda prodded me along and before I knew it things were progressing towards us being husband and wife.

Mak taught me a lot of things. From the days when I was a kid when she made me underline words in Ladybird books to do spelling with me, right up to helping me when I first started breastfeeding. To offering me words of comfort when things were rough for me and hubby, and dishing out sound advice when I face situations involving my kids. When feelings are ruffled in the family, she is there to ensure we stay civil. She can be a bit straight and will blurt out things she should not but she always means well and never has a hidden agenda. With mak, there is a never a need to second guess her motives so what you see is what you get. In all honesty, there are things that I wish she could see from different perspectives, but warts and all, she is alright. Always my voice of reason, mak is always, always my pillar of strength.

So, to mak, thank you for all that you are. Although I know she is not privy to my blog entries, I am sure she knows that she is loved and thought of always. Semoga panjang umur, sihat selalu, insyaAllah.

God bless.

The super hero and the maid

Remember the super hero at the mosque that I talked about..? Well, I went there again last nite and although I cannot be absolutely sure it was him, I am willing to bet the cute kid with the ultraman pjs last nite was the same one with the flowing cape.

And was he with his lego blocks and toy cars again? Nope, mom probably decided to leave those at home after last week. But this kid, he was quite unruly - to say the least! I realized the person praying next to me must have been his maid, (ye lah, muka jowo…) and initially I was observing how comfortable the kid is with her. He comes to her, kisses her and totally happy to be in her arms.. I must say with all my 3 boys, none ever had that kind of affection with the maid. Not even when I had my reliable Nikka for over 8 years. Thank goodness - I don’t think I would be comfortable with seeing how affectionate my kids can be with the maid. I mean, ok, so the kids spend a lot of their waking hours with the maids, but it still makes me uneasy lah.

Back to super hero, it wasn’t long before his cute demeanor faded. This kid, he was no less than 4 yo I figured. In which case, as I had said, is old enough to be told, if anyone sembahyang, you are not supposed to disturb, correct? But noo…superhero was all over the bibik..! Literally! He leaped on her back, tugged her telekung, heck – he went under her telekung! You know how a little toddler usually does when they see their moms praying. This was no waddling toddler, he’s a 4 year old kid..! (I later asked the maid his age, see, I was right!) He merrily chatted with her (and also said, nak minum, nak minum) and so all that cuteness was gone. Instead I wanted so much to just tell him off. Where was the mom? Beats me..!

I know kids will be kids, but right from small our kids are always told, you should never disturb when adults tengah sembahyang and my Haqim would even place a cushion or pillow or whatever he can find if he needs to walk past us when we pray. Super hero is either free to roam the kingdom or just completely incorrigible. I pray my kids never become like that. What amazes me, the parents tak tegur ke anak anak depa ni?!

I believe kids can be taught right from wrong. My boys are far from perfect and we certainly have some behavioral issues but generally they are decent kids. And I am not even saying kids should be ruled with an iron fist and should only be seen and not heard. You should hear my 5 year old when he converses with us. He is always encouraged to show his emotions and so you would know when he is upset cos he will tell you, “mom, you’re making me angry” or when he’s naughty, we are stern and explain why his behavior is unacceptable and although he will sulk, he understands throwing a tantrum is not going to achieve very much.

There was a time when he was very upset and told me, “I don’t think I like you very much anymore”. I was initially taken aback but instead of getting all upset, I sat down with him and asked him why he felt the way he did. And I tried to explain that yes, sometimes people closest to us can make us so angry that it may seem we don’t like them very much anymore and that it’s ok to feel that way. I did remind him that we should always love one another no matter what happens.

So, back to super hero, I wish I can just tell the mom, don’t lah bring your kid to the masjid anymore. It’s not like the maid can concentrate anyway.