Seeing that it’s Ramadhan and Arief is done with his exams, hubby and I decided to get him back on track as far as his mengaji is concerned. Our eldest, Shaf had also said he would like to go back to his former ustazah for some refresher of some sort. So after a quick call to the ever reliable Uztazah, I hollered to the boys last Saturday morning, ok kids, mengaji at 9:30 today! That of course did not go down too well with Arief because he was supposed to have a futsal match with some friends at 11 but no big deal, mengaji would be done before then so off you go..come on, no more excuses..! And at the last minute, hubby said, why don’t we send off our precious as well.
So there, Saturday officially became Haqim’s first day of mengaji..! yeay… off he went with his little jubah and skull cap, armed with a mini jawi book. He came back all excited, recited a portion of the alif, ba, ta and had written jawi very neatly in a new exercise book. Soo proud of him..! One funny thing though, Uzatazah had apparently told Haqim’s brothers to please talk to him in Bahasa more because Haqim speaks mostly English whereas Uztazah most certainly doesn’t. Then by Tuesday, which was his 3rd lesson, Arief told us, uztazah had begun speaking to Haqim in English…! Way to go Uztazah..!
Ok, now about tarawikh prayers. For many years we have been regulars at our neighborhood mosque, although once in awhile we do visit others, just for a change of environment. This year, we started off with the big mosque at Jalan Duta – Masjid Wilayah, and for hubby, there was no turning back. He likes the place so much he is willing to drive all the way there every single nite. I, on the other hand still prefer the familiarity of our mosque and all that it has to offer. We prefer to do 8, and they do just 8 at this small mosque of ours. Besides, it has adequate a/c, bacaan imam that is not bad and as soon as we’re done with witir, it’s immediately followed by ‘ratib’ that is so soo mendayu…
Despite the grandeur of Masjid Wilayah, I find it rather uninviting. And you would think a mosque of that size must have super cool air conditioning correct? Naaah..The rest cannot understand me when I tell them, the place is warm..! Very warm, unless you pick a spot right under the a/c louvers, in which case, you’d end up praying solo, when the rest of the female jemaah will most likely be way up front. And of course there they do 20 each nite, and so witir would be on our own and when you leave, there is no ‘feel’ , you know. But, hubby likes it there and although it’s not what I prefer, it’s not something worth arguing over. Besides, I know he doesn’t stop me from going to our mosque if I so wish. I’m the one who much prefer to go togeder-geder..
There are however, several nights where he agrees to go back to that familiar mosque near home. And last night was a case in point. But only for him to confirm that he much prefers Masjid Wilayah. So we have kinda reached a nice compromise. How nicely that plan will work- we will see-lah.
Ok, sothere I was last nite, that small mosque-lah. We got there just before Isyak prayers so I got a spot close to the back. However, it was a nice spot because it was also under the fans and so I had nothing to complain about. Oops, I spoke too soon. Halfway through my tarawikh, some familiar shrill came from the back. That familiar sound of little kids playing with toy cars, would you believe it - having loads of fun of course. I could only afford to curse them in my heart – ye lah, I was supposed to be praying remember..! When we stopped for breather between the ‘sets’ I turned in their direction and tried to give them a glare, din’t work..they were too far to my right. Good Lord, where in the world are your mothers??! These were not toddlers ok, they must be at least 5, 6 years old. Certainly old enough to understand that you’re not supposed to make a racket dalam masjid. Bapaknya pulak entah lah ke mana, don’t see why they could not just follow their dad and pray along.
Ok, so one young mom came behind, reprimanded her kid and for the rest of the time, that particular boy was quiet. For the other 2, it was still party time. One was even dressed in one of those super heroes PJs complete with flowing cape, no wonder he was so hyper! Ok, Pak Imam, err, do you think I can interrupt and make an announcement at this juncture, do you allow that..? Noo.? Oh well, just wondering..
Ok, ok, so maybe these moms don’t have maids so they have no choice but to bring their kids to the mosque..well, then make sure they behave- lah for heavens sake! Or sembahyang je lah kat rumah – kalau dah anak tu tak reti bahasa, sampai terlalu menganggu jemaah lain…(ok, if I just use the word ‘mengong’ or something, would that constitute me being rude and therefore disallowing me from collecting brownie points for todays’ puasa..? ok, so I won’t use the word then..) See, the thing is, I don’t know how these moms can just continue as if all was well. The kids were loud ok, very loud! When we were all done, I turned to see what the mom looked like. I saw an elderly lady who looked like their maid, (ok, so dia pun sembahyang juga ke....) and then the young mom came, and merrily collected all the toy cars which by then were scattered all over the back. Oh, did I mention they had lego blocks too? The place is not carpeted all the way to the back so imagine the din they were making with legos and toy cars on the marble flooring! The super heroes had vanished by then, probably they had a rescue mission.
I just sighed as I left. Ok lah sayang, tomorrow nite we’ll go masjid wilayah ok..?
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Officer 2164
"Mom, from now on, don’t call me Haqim ok, call me Officer 2164.”
That was what he told me yesterday when I called him from work. You see, they're learning about all kinds of occupation and yesterday it was a police officer. He even came home with a cool badge bearing the said no and has the words “Young Thinker’s Squad” with double sided tape, stuck onto his shirt… isn’t that adorable..?? Ok, he’s my 5 year old son, so yes, he is adorable, without a doubt!
As I drove into the porch when I got home yesterday, there he was - at the front door, greeting me with a salute and wearing that police badge on his tank top! So yesterday evening he was Officer 2164, right til bedtime. (incidentally, officer 2164's ambition, the last time we asked, is to be a dentist..! Why? Well, because he always enjoys his trips to the dentist and he thinks the dentist has a very nice office!!) - See, I told you he's adorable..! ha ha
Today they are supposed to have some role play, and my precious angel will be the ambulance driver! He said, “you know mom, err, actually, I was supposed to be the victim, but then now I’m the ambulance driver.” (actually, I just found out from him a short while ago that he was "actually a paramedic..!")
Anyway, in the wee hours this morning, while it was still dark outside Haqim had woken up. His daddy and me were awake too but still "dok mengegham atas katil" and the first sound we heard was a shrilling “nee noo nee noo”. And of course mummy played along and pretty soon I ‘called’ an emergency (ok, digressing just a little - do you guys know what no to call in case of an emergency..??).
Anyhow, this took place..for real ok….!
Mom: “ Hello, (trying to sound real frantic – laa) I have an emergency. My cat has gone up the roof, can I get some help to get him down?”
Him: “oh, you need the rescue policeman”
Mom: “oh, yea, ok, (silly me, he was the ambulance guy..!)
Him: : “But the police station is not open yet. They open at 9 o’clock, Now it’s still dawn..!”
Mom: speechless..just rolled around with laughter…
Aaah, I never recall learning was this much fun..!
That was what he told me yesterday when I called him from work. You see, they're learning about all kinds of occupation and yesterday it was a police officer. He even came home with a cool badge bearing the said no and has the words “Young Thinker’s Squad” with double sided tape, stuck onto his shirt… isn’t that adorable..?? Ok, he’s my 5 year old son, so yes, he is adorable, without a doubt!
As I drove into the porch when I got home yesterday, there he was - at the front door, greeting me with a salute and wearing that police badge on his tank top! So yesterday evening he was Officer 2164, right til bedtime. (incidentally, officer 2164's ambition, the last time we asked, is to be a dentist..! Why? Well, because he always enjoys his trips to the dentist and he thinks the dentist has a very nice office!!) - See, I told you he's adorable..! ha ha
Today they are supposed to have some role play, and my precious angel will be the ambulance driver! He said, “you know mom, err, actually, I was supposed to be the victim, but then now I’m the ambulance driver.” (actually, I just found out from him a short while ago that he was "actually a paramedic..!")
Anyway, in the wee hours this morning, while it was still dark outside Haqim had woken up. His daddy and me were awake too but still "dok mengegham atas katil" and the first sound we heard was a shrilling “nee noo nee noo”. And of course mummy played along and pretty soon I ‘called’ an emergency (ok, digressing just a little - do you guys know what no to call in case of an emergency..??).
Anyhow, this took place..for real ok….!
Mom: “ Hello, (trying to sound real frantic – laa) I have an emergency. My cat has gone up the roof, can I get some help to get him down?”
Him: “oh, you need the rescue policeman”
Mom: “oh, yea, ok, (silly me, he was the ambulance guy..!)
Him: : “But the police station is not open yet. They open at 9 o’clock, Now it’s still dawn..!”
Mom: speechless..just rolled around with laughter…
Aaah, I never recall learning was this much fun..!
Ramadhan al-Mubarak
So folks, puasa month is here again. Well, in a few days lah. And of course that damn weekend roster that just came out here at work has my name up for site duty this Saturday. As I had expected.. since I had the last 2 weekends free and seeing that it is almost puasa month, I suppose my name just HAD to come up for this weekend.. shucks!
Anyway, there goes the plan for a movie with my precious angel…
So this year, Ramadhan will be without my dearest sister in town. The now OZ celup sis of mine will be missed, along with her kuey teow putih, beef stew, daging mu’az etc etc.. (jgn nangis sis…) Chances are she will still be away when syawal comes along too, unless of course she decides to flee melb for a short rendezvous, I donno laa..
Ok, sis, as promised, no group photo this raya, unless that computer savvy sil of ours can superimpose your cute face. Hey, just this morning, it was realized that ayahanda cc’d his mail to your ag address, and Fred said hey who knows, maybe you ARE in town, perhaps you were a stowaway on your hubby’s flight! Ha ha…
Last nite I caught a bit of this malay drama, (nope, I still don’t watch malay dramas, shame on me..but hubby.. yea, he’s a true anak melayu kan..) and there was a scene where this family was putting up those lampu kelip kelip as puasa month began. And when a neighbour commented “orang pasang lampu bila nak Raya,” the mom replied. “tu lah orang kita, nak sambut Raya beriya-iya, sepatutnya nak sambut bulan puasa la start seronok – nak buat ibadat.” Which got me and hubby thinking..maybe we shud go look for our light set in the storeroom and go pasang them soon too..!
So, anyway, in anticipation of Ramadhan, I felt it’s nice to share one of those “reminder” pieces, you know. Hopefully, we will gain more out of this year’s ramadhan..and develop more than just hunger and other temporary deprivation lah kan..Personally, I hope I can learn to be kinder, more so to my kids, and be able to instill in me higher degree of tolerance; to certain situations and certain people that I cross paths with. Of course my other wish is for hubby dearest to kick the habit, once and for all..Wishful thinking?? Well….surely there is no harm in wishing. And hoping…Who knows, one of those nights in this blessed month, the skies open up and God answers my prayers..betul tak? Kan ke berdoa bulan puasa ni mustajab..Besides, if there is one thing I’ve learned, is that we should never underestimate the power of doa..
To Nad – hang in there ok. You’re in our thoughts, more so this month and frankly, when at bonda’s dining table, I feel you right there with us, in spirit - always….!! Love ya sis…
A good Ramadhan Al Mubarak to all…
ok, just to share ;
Penghayatan Ramadhan
Matlamat berpuasa
- Puasa - lapar itu bukan matlamat. Jika ibadah puasa tidak dihayati sepenuhnya, kita keluar dari bulan puasa, kosong.
- Syaitan “di ikat” pada bulan ramdhan tu satu konsep sebenarnya. Kita diberi panduan bagaimana melawan nafsu dan godaan syaitan.
- Terlalu banyak peluang dalam bulan Ramadhan untuk Allah ampunkan dosa kita. Rugi tak memanfaatkan bulan Ramadhan.
Bersahur
- Syaitan influence kita supaya sahur awal. Besar pahala melewatkan sahur sebenarnya
Berbuka
- Kita berpuasa kena hayati kelaparan - bukan sebagai matlamat tapi pembentukan rohani - janganlah banyak makan ketika berbuka. Makruh terlalu kenyang.
Solat di masjid
- Solat jemaah di masjid dilihat dalam keadaan sempurna sebab Tuhan ambil overall, dari segi kyushuk, bila saat ini kita khusyuk, saat lain org lain pula khusyuk, jadi bila solat itu diangkat, ia dianggap sempurna.
Beribadah dalam Ramadhan
- Ssetiap malam Ramadhan Tuhan lepaskan 1000 penghuni neraka. Jadi kita mesti menggamit panggilan Tuhan - bayangkan setiap malam ada sebanyak 1000 free tickets!
- Nabi ajar dlm bulan puasa mintak 3 perkata semasa doa -
i. Agar amalan diterima
ii. Bebaskan dari neraka
iii. Ampunkan dosa
- Jika seorang Muslim itu, berdoa pun tidak dalam bulan ramadhan - teruk sangat lah tu.. tanda kita takabur pada Tuhan
Niat puasa
- Dengan bangun unuk makan sahur sudah cukup untuk ditakrif sebagai niat puasa.
- Walaupun begitu, Ustaz tak berapa cenderung ke arah satu kali niat untuk puasa sebulan. Lebih lagi wanita, sebab ada masa putus puasa.
Solat tarawikh
Tiada bilangan tarawikh yang bidaah, semua ok. Cuma elok bila bacaan panjang, dibuat rakaat sikit, dan bila bacaan pendek, rakaat banyak.
Lailatul qadar
- Amalan minimum untuk ibadah lailatul qadar, kena ada 3 perkara beriku :-
I. Isyak berjemaah
Ii. Tarawikh
Iii. Subuh berjemaah
- Bila buat kesemua yang tiga perkara ini, sudah dikira melakukan amalan lailatul qadar bukan hanya kena qiamulail baru dianggap ibadat lailatul qadar
- Diingatkan janganlah keluar 10 malam terakhir. Orang kita last 10 nites tu lah nak beli baju raya lah, nak jalan tengok lampu lah, kena buat kuih lah dan bermacam alasan lain untuk tidak solat tarawikh
. Kita perlu tangisi kekesalan kita pada Tuhan.
- Bangun malam tak semestinya pukul 12 tengah malam. Memadai bangun awal sebelum sahur
And finally,
Ciri orang yang munafik dlm bulan ramadhan
1. Sahur awal
2. Tidur lepas subuh
3. Tunjuk letih
4. Lambat sembahyang
5. Makan banyak
6. Tidur banyak waktu malam.
Anyway, there goes the plan for a movie with my precious angel…
So this year, Ramadhan will be without my dearest sister in town. The now OZ celup sis of mine will be missed, along with her kuey teow putih, beef stew, daging mu’az etc etc.. (jgn nangis sis…) Chances are she will still be away when syawal comes along too, unless of course she decides to flee melb for a short rendezvous, I donno laa..
Ok, sis, as promised, no group photo this raya, unless that computer savvy sil of ours can superimpose your cute face. Hey, just this morning, it was realized that ayahanda cc’d his mail to your ag address, and Fred said hey who knows, maybe you ARE in town, perhaps you were a stowaway on your hubby’s flight! Ha ha…
Last nite I caught a bit of this malay drama, (nope, I still don’t watch malay dramas, shame on me..but hubby.. yea, he’s a true anak melayu kan..) and there was a scene where this family was putting up those lampu kelip kelip as puasa month began. And when a neighbour commented “orang pasang lampu bila nak Raya,” the mom replied. “tu lah orang kita, nak sambut Raya beriya-iya, sepatutnya nak sambut bulan puasa la start seronok – nak buat ibadat.” Which got me and hubby thinking..maybe we shud go look for our light set in the storeroom and go pasang them soon too..!
So, anyway, in anticipation of Ramadhan, I felt it’s nice to share one of those “reminder” pieces, you know. Hopefully, we will gain more out of this year’s ramadhan..and develop more than just hunger and other temporary deprivation lah kan..Personally, I hope I can learn to be kinder, more so to my kids, and be able to instill in me higher degree of tolerance; to certain situations and certain people that I cross paths with. Of course my other wish is for hubby dearest to kick the habit, once and for all..Wishful thinking?? Well….surely there is no harm in wishing. And hoping…Who knows, one of those nights in this blessed month, the skies open up and God answers my prayers..betul tak? Kan ke berdoa bulan puasa ni mustajab..Besides, if there is one thing I’ve learned, is that we should never underestimate the power of doa..
To Nad – hang in there ok. You’re in our thoughts, more so this month and frankly, when at bonda’s dining table, I feel you right there with us, in spirit - always….!! Love ya sis…
A good Ramadhan Al Mubarak to all…
ok, just to share ;
Penghayatan Ramadhan
Matlamat berpuasa
- Puasa - lapar itu bukan matlamat. Jika ibadah puasa tidak dihayati sepenuhnya, kita keluar dari bulan puasa, kosong.
- Syaitan “di ikat” pada bulan ramdhan tu satu konsep sebenarnya. Kita diberi panduan bagaimana melawan nafsu dan godaan syaitan.
- Terlalu banyak peluang dalam bulan Ramadhan untuk Allah ampunkan dosa kita. Rugi tak memanfaatkan bulan Ramadhan.
Bersahur
- Syaitan influence kita supaya sahur awal. Besar pahala melewatkan sahur sebenarnya
Berbuka
- Kita berpuasa kena hayati kelaparan - bukan sebagai matlamat tapi pembentukan rohani - janganlah banyak makan ketika berbuka. Makruh terlalu kenyang.
Solat di masjid
- Solat jemaah di masjid dilihat dalam keadaan sempurna sebab Tuhan ambil overall, dari segi kyushuk, bila saat ini kita khusyuk, saat lain org lain pula khusyuk, jadi bila solat itu diangkat, ia dianggap sempurna.
Beribadah dalam Ramadhan
- Ssetiap malam Ramadhan Tuhan lepaskan 1000 penghuni neraka. Jadi kita mesti menggamit panggilan Tuhan - bayangkan setiap malam ada sebanyak 1000 free tickets!
- Nabi ajar dlm bulan puasa mintak 3 perkata semasa doa -
i. Agar amalan diterima
ii. Bebaskan dari neraka
iii. Ampunkan dosa
- Jika seorang Muslim itu, berdoa pun tidak dalam bulan ramadhan - teruk sangat lah tu.. tanda kita takabur pada Tuhan
Niat puasa
- Dengan bangun unuk makan sahur sudah cukup untuk ditakrif sebagai niat puasa.
- Walaupun begitu, Ustaz tak berapa cenderung ke arah satu kali niat untuk puasa sebulan. Lebih lagi wanita, sebab ada masa putus puasa.
Solat tarawikh
Tiada bilangan tarawikh yang bidaah, semua ok. Cuma elok bila bacaan panjang, dibuat rakaat sikit, dan bila bacaan pendek, rakaat banyak.
Lailatul qadar
- Amalan minimum untuk ibadah lailatul qadar, kena ada 3 perkara beriku :-
I. Isyak berjemaah
Ii. Tarawikh
Iii. Subuh berjemaah
- Bila buat kesemua yang tiga perkara ini, sudah dikira melakukan amalan lailatul qadar bukan hanya kena qiamulail baru dianggap ibadat lailatul qadar
- Diingatkan janganlah keluar 10 malam terakhir. Orang kita last 10 nites tu lah nak beli baju raya lah, nak jalan tengok lampu lah, kena buat kuih lah dan bermacam alasan lain untuk tidak solat tarawikh
. Kita perlu tangisi kekesalan kita pada Tuhan.
- Bangun malam tak semestinya pukul 12 tengah malam. Memadai bangun awal sebelum sahur
And finally,
Ciri orang yang munafik dlm bulan ramadhan
1. Sahur awal
2. Tidur lepas subuh
3. Tunjuk letih
4. Lambat sembahyang
5. Makan banyak
6. Tidur banyak waktu malam.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Arief oh Arief
Ok, in case you’re wondering what’s been happening since my 12 year old dropped that bombshell last week, here’s the latest.
With no shame whatsoever, I am happy to say that he has changed his mind..! yippee…!! Well, for now – but I sure hope it stays that way. Why the change of heart you ask? Well, it started quite simply when he went to school with all relevant documents photocopied except for his father’s salary slip. (Incidently, when we went to the neighborhood photocopy place that nite, we met at least 3 or 4 other fellow Year 6 boys who were there with the exact same intention he had..!). Daddy dearest makes a decent living but no salary slip – so I photocopied mine. Apparently, Arief’s teacher wanted father’s salary slip…and from that point on, I slowly talked to him.
His dad had no problems agreeing with me, so finally we managed to talk him out of the idea…yeay, mission accomplished..! Surprisingly, it wasn’t too hard to get him to buy our logic. Initially he did not understand the fuss but later he seemed contented with all that we had to say. So for now, he’s staying…
I hope he can understand our rationale...and also the fact that the herd mentality just won’t do –deciding to go largely because all his friends seem eager to do so. With him, even under our noses he can be quite a challenge. Just yesterday I saw him with his gameboy which I had hid months before his exams. Lo and behold, he was merrily playing with it yesterday afternoon…much to my amusement. When asked, his initial response was, “Arief terjumpa.” Yeah, right…..! I had it tucked away, way inside one of my little cabinets. Finally, he sheepishly admitted, “Ha ah, Arief cari..” Hello, you could have asked me first if you can have it back now that the exams are over, or at the very least, ask where I kept it..! You see, I am willing to bet he had known all along where I stored his gameboy…!!
So, yup, he is definitely staying…For the moment, at best it’s a toss between DJ and DU…ok, where shall it be…follow Adam, that nice kid but little Romeo in the making to DJ or the seemingly more responsible Clarence to DU….?? Btw, IJ is moving elsewhere so I guess no more cute stories of him asking girls to go steady….
With no shame whatsoever, I am happy to say that he has changed his mind..! yippee…!! Well, for now – but I sure hope it stays that way. Why the change of heart you ask? Well, it started quite simply when he went to school with all relevant documents photocopied except for his father’s salary slip. (Incidently, when we went to the neighborhood photocopy place that nite, we met at least 3 or 4 other fellow Year 6 boys who were there with the exact same intention he had..!). Daddy dearest makes a decent living but no salary slip – so I photocopied mine. Apparently, Arief’s teacher wanted father’s salary slip…and from that point on, I slowly talked to him.
His dad had no problems agreeing with me, so finally we managed to talk him out of the idea…yeay, mission accomplished..! Surprisingly, it wasn’t too hard to get him to buy our logic. Initially he did not understand the fuss but later he seemed contented with all that we had to say. So for now, he’s staying…
I hope he can understand our rationale...and also the fact that the herd mentality just won’t do –deciding to go largely because all his friends seem eager to do so. With him, even under our noses he can be quite a challenge. Just yesterday I saw him with his gameboy which I had hid months before his exams. Lo and behold, he was merrily playing with it yesterday afternoon…much to my amusement. When asked, his initial response was, “Arief terjumpa.” Yeah, right…..! I had it tucked away, way inside one of my little cabinets. Finally, he sheepishly admitted, “Ha ah, Arief cari..” Hello, you could have asked me first if you can have it back now that the exams are over, or at the very least, ask where I kept it..! You see, I am willing to bet he had known all along where I stored his gameboy…!!
So, yup, he is definitely staying…For the moment, at best it’s a toss between DJ and DU…ok, where shall it be…follow Adam, that nice kid but little Romeo in the making to DJ or the seemingly more responsible Clarence to DU….?? Btw, IJ is moving elsewhere so I guess no more cute stories of him asking girls to go steady….
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
You want to what..???
This is yet another blog entry that revolves around my recently turned 12 year old – Arief. Today was the final day of his UPSR exams and from what I observed he seemed well prepared for these last 2 papers. From the last minute revision that we did the whole of yesterday he did appear confident for these papers. I hope he will at least be able to ace these 2.
Anyway, today was hubby's turn to pick him up after the exams. My husband looked for Arief and later found him in a class where they were having a taklimat – for those who would like to go boarding school..! To go where..??? Now, that was something we have never really considered for Arief. Sure our oldest stays at an ‘asrama’ . Well, granted, his is a mere 15 mins away from where we live but it’s a full residential school nonetheless. And I admit, when Shaf wanted to go, (all this thanks to my dear grilfren who was the catalyst in suggesting I send my kids away…aargh..) I was less than thrilled. Maybe devastated is more apt to describe how I felt. As it turned out, Shaf hated it and things became unbearable those first few months. But by then even I was convinced he should stay and that the school will do him a lot more good than harm.
As for Arief, he never really indicated a desire to leave and certainly we’ve always thought he is better suited staying home and going to a nearby school. He tends to be the playful type and I’ve always thought I need to keep a close eye on him. And if I may be totally honest, my relationship with him before my firstborn left home was not the greatest. To quote my dear sister – among her two cents when I was feeling down about my firstborn leaving – “If Shaf duduk asrama, it’ll do you a lot of good to bond with Arief sis”, she said. She could not have been farther away from the truth. And now, just as I’m beginning to truly enjoy Arief’s company without being in the shadow of big brother, he wants to leave..???
I spoke to him over the phone today and asked for reasons of why he attended the taklimat. His answer simple . “ Saja. Ramai orang angkat tangan so Arief pun angkat la’. And when I pressed some more if he really wants to go, to my horror, he gave a firm yes..! And then he added, “Arief nak pergi yang balik berapa bulan sekali punye..” Goodness, my heart skipped a beat at that point. Was he just teasing me, I honestly haven’t got a clue.
Of course, everything depends on how he fares in the exams. And as always I pray that he does well. But now I have mixed feelings. I always say with or without him at home makes little difference because he’s not ‘loud’ like his big brother..but the fact remains, it just won’t be the same. And what will things be like for Haqim not having anyone at home besides the maid..?? What if Arief wants to leave because I am constantly breathing down his neck..? What if he’s fed-up of me being angry at him for not being serious with his school work..? What if he has a typical middle child syndrome and thinks I don’t love him as much as his 2 brothers.. ?
Ok, ok, maybe I’m getting just a tad carried away..and hubby will say I am being emotional…but hello…this is news to me…I just never thought he would even want to stay at a boarding school.. I just figured he lacks that mental discipline essential to survive in that kind of routine and rigid environment. Could I have thought wrong..?
You know that feeling when you have no idea what hit you, leaving you totally speechless.. ? That pretty much sums up how I’m feeling. Later he told me, “mama, rilex lah, lambat lagi..” That’s where you’re wrong dear, it always just seems “lambat lagi” , but before you know it, things you never expect, circumstances that you dread, and situations that previously seemed to merely loom across the horizon is right smack in front of you.
At that point, reality hits and then your life gets messed up for awhile…
Anyway, today was hubby's turn to pick him up after the exams. My husband looked for Arief and later found him in a class where they were having a taklimat – for those who would like to go boarding school..! To go where..??? Now, that was something we have never really considered for Arief. Sure our oldest stays at an ‘asrama’ . Well, granted, his is a mere 15 mins away from where we live but it’s a full residential school nonetheless. And I admit, when Shaf wanted to go, (all this thanks to my dear grilfren who was the catalyst in suggesting I send my kids away…aargh..) I was less than thrilled. Maybe devastated is more apt to describe how I felt. As it turned out, Shaf hated it and things became unbearable those first few months. But by then even I was convinced he should stay and that the school will do him a lot more good than harm.
As for Arief, he never really indicated a desire to leave and certainly we’ve always thought he is better suited staying home and going to a nearby school. He tends to be the playful type and I’ve always thought I need to keep a close eye on him. And if I may be totally honest, my relationship with him before my firstborn left home was not the greatest. To quote my dear sister – among her two cents when I was feeling down about my firstborn leaving – “If Shaf duduk asrama, it’ll do you a lot of good to bond with Arief sis”, she said. She could not have been farther away from the truth. And now, just as I’m beginning to truly enjoy Arief’s company without being in the shadow of big brother, he wants to leave..???
I spoke to him over the phone today and asked for reasons of why he attended the taklimat. His answer simple . “ Saja. Ramai orang angkat tangan so Arief pun angkat la’. And when I pressed some more if he really wants to go, to my horror, he gave a firm yes..! And then he added, “Arief nak pergi yang balik berapa bulan sekali punye..” Goodness, my heart skipped a beat at that point. Was he just teasing me, I honestly haven’t got a clue.
Of course, everything depends on how he fares in the exams. And as always I pray that he does well. But now I have mixed feelings. I always say with or without him at home makes little difference because he’s not ‘loud’ like his big brother..but the fact remains, it just won’t be the same. And what will things be like for Haqim not having anyone at home besides the maid..?? What if Arief wants to leave because I am constantly breathing down his neck..? What if he’s fed-up of me being angry at him for not being serious with his school work..? What if he has a typical middle child syndrome and thinks I don’t love him as much as his 2 brothers.. ?
Ok, ok, maybe I’m getting just a tad carried away..and hubby will say I am being emotional…but hello…this is news to me…I just never thought he would even want to stay at a boarding school.. I just figured he lacks that mental discipline essential to survive in that kind of routine and rigid environment. Could I have thought wrong..?
You know that feeling when you have no idea what hit you, leaving you totally speechless.. ? That pretty much sums up how I’m feeling. Later he told me, “mama, rilex lah, lambat lagi..” That’s where you’re wrong dear, it always just seems “lambat lagi” , but before you know it, things you never expect, circumstances that you dread, and situations that previously seemed to merely loom across the horizon is right smack in front of you.
At that point, reality hits and then your life gets messed up for awhile…
Monday, September 04, 2006
will you be mine
Arief, my recently turned 12 year old sure has some very interesting friends. I believe I have met all of his close buddies but don’t usually get a chance to interact much with them. Well, last Friday, we had a good glimpse of their colorful camaraderie..
Ed, a friend of this 12 year old of mine, (who happens to be a real looker, btw) came home with Arief after school. Reason being, later that evening they were scheduled to go for a “solat hajat” at a nearby mosque in anticipation of their exams which begins today. Another friend IJ, (who comes across as also good looking but the quiet type) had asked if he may be picked up on the way to the masjid. So off they went, with Arief’s dad playing chauffeur.
In the car, on the way to IJ’s house, my dear husband had a blast…Ed, who is known to be very bubbly and because of his boyish good looks is even admired by a 13 year old (girl) friend of my other son, just couldn’t stop chatting. According to Arief, Ed "ni memang selalu goda budak pompuan" ..my God..I din't even know my son uses the word goda, ok...! Anyway, Ed was on a roll, and was obviously in the mood for a tell-all session – among others, he told Arief’s dad of IJ’s encounters with the opposite sex..and boy was it hilarious…!
According to Ed, so besotted was IJ with one 11 year old girl at school, (Ed says he used to thinks she’s pretty but up close she really isn’t so hot..! ha ha..) that he literally begged her to be his girl. This is all hearsay lah but according to Ed this conversation really took place..(Ed and Arief were there – kami intai diorang - so they admitted)
IJ : Shak, will you please, please be my girlfriend..? (hands clasped together begging) Ed added for drama – dia buat macam nak kahwin uncle, betul...!!!
Shak : emmmm…ok
IJ : How many percent awak suka saya?
Shak : err. 90%
IJ: How many percent awak suka Ed..??
Shak : 100%
And so, Shak became IJ’s girl but he sure was pissed at Ed for still coming out the winner. Well, according to Arief, Shak wasn’t IJ’s girl for very long, he seems to be one of those who likes to have his flavours of the week. So one day it’s Shak, another day, another girl..
Of course, Ed then told my husband, “uncle, nanti bila kita dah ambik IJ, uncle jangan cakap apa-apa ok..”
Arief’s dad : "Arief ada girlfriend tak? "
Ed : "Ada, Zaimah..tapi dulu, now dia tak suka dah..”
And so that was how we were enlightened on a facet of their lives…
Ed, a friend of this 12 year old of mine, (who happens to be a real looker, btw) came home with Arief after school. Reason being, later that evening they were scheduled to go for a “solat hajat” at a nearby mosque in anticipation of their exams which begins today. Another friend IJ, (who comes across as also good looking but the quiet type) had asked if he may be picked up on the way to the masjid. So off they went, with Arief’s dad playing chauffeur.
In the car, on the way to IJ’s house, my dear husband had a blast…Ed, who is known to be very bubbly and because of his boyish good looks is even admired by a 13 year old (girl) friend of my other son, just couldn’t stop chatting. According to Arief, Ed "ni memang selalu goda budak pompuan" ..my God..I din't even know my son uses the word goda, ok...! Anyway, Ed was on a roll, and was obviously in the mood for a tell-all session – among others, he told Arief’s dad of IJ’s encounters with the opposite sex..and boy was it hilarious…!
According to Ed, so besotted was IJ with one 11 year old girl at school, (Ed says he used to thinks she’s pretty but up close she really isn’t so hot..! ha ha..) that he literally begged her to be his girl. This is all hearsay lah but according to Ed this conversation really took place..(Ed and Arief were there – kami intai diorang - so they admitted)
IJ : Shak, will you please, please be my girlfriend..? (hands clasped together begging) Ed added for drama – dia buat macam nak kahwin uncle, betul...!!!
Shak : emmmm…ok
IJ : How many percent awak suka saya?
Shak : err. 90%
IJ: How many percent awak suka Ed..??
Shak : 100%
And so, Shak became IJ’s girl but he sure was pissed at Ed for still coming out the winner. Well, according to Arief, Shak wasn’t IJ’s girl for very long, he seems to be one of those who likes to have his flavours of the week. So one day it’s Shak, another day, another girl..
Of course, Ed then told my husband, “uncle, nanti bila kita dah ambik IJ, uncle jangan cakap apa-apa ok..”
Arief’s dad : "Arief ada girlfriend tak? "
Ed : "Ada, Zaimah..tapi dulu, now dia tak suka dah..”
And so that was how we were enlightened on a facet of their lives…
Pain makes us brave
My thoughts are with you today. And right now I suppose 'access denied' just ain't workin' no more huh..Dear, I know this must be tough, especially the coming days and more so the coming weeks. But as you cross this new obstacle in your journey, try to just focus on the good times that you guys had..ok. And as always, just have faith and give yourself to Him.
You know, among my fondest memories of Sr Enda – that wonder woman whom a bunch of us girls used to call Principal for many, many years, is of her walking up to this chalkboard along the corridors of Assunta and writing motivational quotes on a daily basis. And one that never left me was that simple cliché “Man disposes, God disposes” So girl, it is obvious that He had other plans for you. And over the years some words of wisdom that I try to use as a mantra when the going gets tough is this – Dia tak akan uji kita di luar kemampuan kita. As hard as this is, you know you will make it through alrite.
So, as you hug them tight tonight, cry away if you have too but try to remain brave despite that pain because deep in you, you know they will be just fine..and God willing so will you.
I know, seberat mana pun yang I rasa over here, jauh lebih berat it is for you, but you're strong and trust me, this too shall pass. Besides, this gives you the perfect excuse to totally immerse yourself in work, all that wonderful deadlines of those horrendous academic obligations and before you know it - time for you to fly home.
In the meantime, when the gramps leave, go get rid of that extra mattress and if you have the slightest bit of free time, maybe you can go do what you do well, bake. After all, your new roomie deserves to get to know that side of you right.? In a few months you can go color your hair some more if you like, (can, I can fedex the color you want….promise…what do you fancy ..Anita Sarawak platinum??)
And yes, babe - you have my word, no smiley Raya pictures..!!
You know, among my fondest memories of Sr Enda – that wonder woman whom a bunch of us girls used to call Principal for many, many years, is of her walking up to this chalkboard along the corridors of Assunta and writing motivational quotes on a daily basis. And one that never left me was that simple cliché “Man disposes, God disposes” So girl, it is obvious that He had other plans for you. And over the years some words of wisdom that I try to use as a mantra when the going gets tough is this – Dia tak akan uji kita di luar kemampuan kita. As hard as this is, you know you will make it through alrite.
So, as you hug them tight tonight, cry away if you have too but try to remain brave despite that pain because deep in you, you know they will be just fine..and God willing so will you.
I know, seberat mana pun yang I rasa over here, jauh lebih berat it is for you, but you're strong and trust me, this too shall pass. Besides, this gives you the perfect excuse to totally immerse yourself in work, all that wonderful deadlines of those horrendous academic obligations and before you know it - time for you to fly home.
In the meantime, when the gramps leave, go get rid of that extra mattress and if you have the slightest bit of free time, maybe you can go do what you do well, bake. After all, your new roomie deserves to get to know that side of you right.? In a few months you can go color your hair some more if you like, (can, I can fedex the color you want….promise…what do you fancy ..Anita Sarawak platinum??)
And yes, babe - you have my word, no smiley Raya pictures..!!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Que Sera Sera - ok...
Ok here’s the thing… in truth Arief is really an intelligent kid. He is very playful, no doubt, and can be very ‘blur’ sometimes but he’s not too bad, if only he gives himself half the chance and believes in himself a little more. And if only I make more effort to see him in a fresh perspective every now and then.
Sure, he may be no Einstein but he’s alright. He’s certainly not the most diligent kid around and frankly he could do with a whole lot of self motivation but let’s just put it this way. Arief can be a parenting challenge. But with him, there is no need to second guess his moves, what you see is what you get. And that is what makes him different - he is by far the most genuine kid I know.
I used to feel totally exasperated with him, in particular with issues that revolve around his academics. Arief has this carefree attitude, nothing bothers him much and the only thing that really gets to him is when you take away his privilege of watching football or playing football at the padang..that’s about it. Oh, and his brothers..they can get under his skin..I guess him being the middle child may have something to do with that.
Arief was born a mere 16 months after my oldest. Those who know our little family will generally know Shafique, my first born as the bright, expressive child while Arief is almost always the quiet one. Mischievous though he may be, he does not talk much. For almost 7 years he was the youngest child and then came our precious angel. Haqim is a pure gem, but only to those who bother to get to know him. He is very special because of a lot of reasons and every single day that I spend with him makes me thank God for blessing us with his presence.
Getting back to my Arief – he's my flavour of the month, he turns 12 tomorrow- hard to believe, yes.. and right now he is also my ultimate source of panic attack. Why? Because dear Arief is scheduled to sit for his first national exams in 3 days and he is still as cool as a cucumber..! Maybe because that green vegetable happens to be his favourite food on earth.. yes, no kidding, that’s my son..he loves cucumber, of all things..!!
Right now he really does not seem to be the least worried that his exams is around the corner. Around the corner? Good Lord, it's this coming Monday for goodness sake, it is now Friday...!!! Sure, he's spending less time in front of the tv but there really isn't time to do much anymore..!
Visualize this: -
Me: “Arief, how did you do?”.
Arief: “ok”
Me: “Arief, did you manage to answer the questions?”
Arief “ok”
Me: “Arief, are you prepared for your exams?”
Arief: “ok”
And that is no exaggeration. He is definitely my “Mat OK”.. Everything is a-ok to him..
I have now resigned to the fact that Arief may just be a late bloomer. In fact, I say with conviction that Arief may well go on to succeed in life because although academics may not exactly be his forte, he is a smart kid. And he is one of those “nice guy” types, the kinda kid that everyone wants to be friends with. Trust me, I was surprised to know how popular he is with his friends at school. But with the exams that begin Monday, I am still anxious. All I want is for him to do the best that he can cos' I would hate to see him feeling sorry for himself if he ends up not doing well, and yes, not doing as well as his older brother. Most of his young life seems to be about playing second fiddle and I want him to be able to make it through this time. But then again, maybe national exams is just too hyped up and clearly over-rated huh…??
Oh well, que sera sera..I just pray he has the confidence in himself and will be able to focus on his papers. I reckon if he concentrates fully and understands what the questions ask of him, he won’t do all that bad, God willing.
In the meantime, I'm still having a panic attack. Hey, don’t laugh…Wait till one of your brood turns out saying ok to every question thrown his or her way, then you’ll know what I mean…ok…??!!
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